Christmas in Denver 2009

Auntie Tete and the kids decorate the 'kid's tree' in the basement...
Making ornaments from scratch with colored paper and cutting them out...
diligent little workers and hanging the finished products....

Two months later....

Still quit....unbelievable! I have even been on two extraordinary vacations and though I struggled with the 'lack of something' feeling constantly, I was able to fend off the smoking urge by eating nuts! I have definitely gained a few pounds in all the wrong places, but when I complain out loud somebody always says 'it's better than smoking'....argh! So, you see, the urge is still there, hidden beneath a ton of nuts and other foods that now taste so unbelievably good. Problem. Seems, too, that I am drinking more alcohol...hmmmmm, not sure that's really better than smoking. I am totally enjoying bloody Marys and wine whenever it's available. And, believe me, it'd better be available within a reasonable time or that personality no one wants to meet gets pretty close to coming out. That would be the personality I had when it'd been much too long between cigs! uh oh!

I will keep the faith, and maintain my behavior. Gaining weight all the way. No problem. I have at least started to walk/jog on the treadmill...certainly not often enough, but hey, I am doing it.

I feel like I can say it now!! I QUIT!!

Okay.....sorry about not keeping a daily record, but for some reason I was a little distracted for the first 3 weeks. We got the pills October 7. We were both done 3 weeks, 3 days later. Neither of us needed to smoke. Chantix is amazing. Neither of us had any ill effects. The 'nightmares' for both of us were simply strange dreams....I had dreams about people I haven't seen or spoken to in years. I'm still kinda distracted....but it's getting better, more focused on things I didn't focus on because I was always chasing the few minutes to break away for a ciggie!

We're still on the pills....for the second month. Neither of us want to take a chance of losing this lack of even thinking about having a ciggie....it truly is amazing.

second day

things went really well....just kinda 'out there', if ya know what i mean....loopy! it's the normal stuff that just seems different somehow.

no dreams last night, good night's sleep. toe cramps, but likely not related!

i'm off to California next week, wednesday through following tuesday....which means long flights. long flights usually kill me, so we'll see if there's a difference this time....like maybe the not being able to smoke for 7 hours won't cause me to have fits!

more later

First Day w/Chantix.....new use for the ashtray?

So, you wonder, how it's going?

Here’s my take on the first day with Chantix – a brilliant idea, by the way, developed by German scientists. Does that surprise me? Not at all.

Anyhoot – first pill, first day: think most of what I felt was all in my head. The anxiety of number 1 – quitting; number 2 – worrying about all the side-effects mentioned in their advertising! The most feared to me is nausea! ARGH! Don’t really care if I have a heart attack, just don’t wanna puke!

Here’s how it went. Felt (other than anxious) fine until around 9:15 when I got into to the elevator to go outside for a ciggie. My contacts were bugging me so I shook my head and immediately got dizzy and saw double! By the time I got out of the elevator (5 floors) I was fine. One of the effects? I have no idea! Caused by anxiety? Probably! Then there were the weird dreams….not bad, not frightening. Colorful. The first thing I remembered when I awoke was the dream was everyone at work wearing the same color two different days. Just weird.

Today is much better…however, I seem to be a little distracted somehow. The stuff I normally do by rote seem to not quite be there….towel-drying my hair this morning seemed different, you know how you always do stuff like that the same way every time! Can’t even explain what was different, just know it was.

One thing I happily noticed this morning was there were more cigs left in my pack than there would normally have been….meaning I had smoked much less than usual and didn’t even notice! Now that’s great….I’m not caring that I’m not noticing that I’m not smoking as much! Does that even make sense? Kinda cool how it just makes ya not care. Very strange stuff.

Update tomorrow >

first pill tomorrow morning....

i will take it and forget it! i'll report at the end of the day tomorrow... first through fourth day is one pill in the morning. after fourth day it's one pill in the morning, one in the evening. i'll report daily.

the beginning of the end....of smoking, that is....

MoFM went for her annual checkup today and asked her doc for Chantix....for both of us. Actually, she told her doc i kept 'misplacing' the prescriptions my doc gave me, so he offered to write me one, too. GREAT!! So...we will get the 'scripts' filled together, and end the battle with the cigs! We plan to share any nightmares we have and any other weird symptoms. This will be good. Smoking is such a stupid, stupid crutch, but certainly not an easy one to get past.

What will it be like not to have the NEED to run out of the building every 2 hours or so at work? What will it be like to have a car that doesn't smell like an ashtray? What will my clothes do without the stench of smoke? My balcony will even smell like the Jasmine growing on it instead of lingering stale smoke. Wow. Why didn't I think of this before.....like 30 years ago? I did. I quit in 1990 for a full year. Gained 40 pounds, which made it difficult to play soccer....at least I convinced myself the weight made it more difficult to run than the smoking! What caused me to pick it up again? I was still married to the smoking Gorton who had set his smoke down in an ashtray, and I picked that sucker up like I'd never quit. Unbelievable. That's all it took for me to somehow justify starting again. DUMB!!

Anyway, I will keep a running account of how it's going. Stay tuned.

The Graduate

Okay, so this was taken from a long way from the podium but I got the shot and you can tell she's proud and WE were all proud of her! This wonderful kid lives in Denver and flys all over the country in her job. She's incredible, brilliant, and beautiful....what more could a mom ask! Oh, and by the way? She does triathlons in her spare time! Jeeeez. If you're lucky enough to have raised great kids like I have....count your blessings. I do, every day. All three of them are the greatest!

AHEWG and IJW August 14, 2009

They are the most wonderful kids (not so much kids anymore) but they're MY kids! This silly shot of them was taken at my other wonderful kid's dinner after her graduation from Denver University. Awesome!

Funny how all of our eyes disappear when we smile! I hate that!

My sweeties at the beach, and the fourth

pictures

okay, so Alholian bought me a new laptop because i took his mother to the beach, and he knows he owes me BIG time!! so now i can post some pictures!! yay....they are of the 4th of July, (better late than never), the kids at the beach, and other stuff....don'tcha miss the hellouta MoFM??

WTF

seems that AL (or as I prefer to call him, Aholian) has won the battle....MoFM couldn't fight it any longer....sad, sad, sad. it is good that he's turned over a whole new forest, country, globe...but at what cost? guess as long as he's keeping MoFM happy i'm good with it....i reckon choosing husband over blog is the right thing to do....IF he maintains his current behavior!




summer has been extremely good, so far.....been to Vegas, Palm Springs, Cabo....caught some kind of weird virus, got a raise at work...i'm spending this weekend at the beach with the grandkids......yeah, i'll let ya know how THAT turns out.



my poor little dog had 8 teeth pulled, then spent two weeks with my buds, Kevin and Damien while he was recuperating...they were really good to him.....poor little dude had the teeth pulled just before my two weeks wandering around the country....sorry, guys! they're awesome with Mr Pimms....they have spaniel, Maggie that just loves Mr Pimms so it works out very well...



i'll post some pics now since i haven't been on here in months, and now that MoFM isn't anymore....well, you get the drift.

Easter - oh, the dancing and egg-dyeing, and oh yeah, sponge Bob break....

Easter 2009

The beauty of Spring!

Good times, indeed....from the dyeing of the eggs at my place, to the Jewish/Mexican Easter Brunch, to the hunt for the big-eyed eggs, to baking cupcakes....oh, and not to forget BS dancing to Credence Clearwater! Definitely....the best of times!

Everyone should have this much 'fun' when they're my age!

3 of my crazy neighbors and I did the Manna, Inc run (in the drizzle) this morning....well, some of us ran, some of us struggled at that last hill! There's just nothin' better than getting outside in the Spring! And here (you know, having lived in San Diego most of my life I could be outside year-round) you really can't enjoy being outside until all that nasty snow and stuff goes away!

Happy Spring! Get out in DC and see the Cherry Blossoms! They're beautiful this year, even in the drizzle. Those of us who live here really tire quickly of the bus traffic and pedestrians who cross against the red light and hold up traffic, but that's okay....come and enjoy. Then go home. Like the bumper sticker in California....'Welcome to California, now go home'...not that I ever had one, of course. Unlike California, DC likes to have visitors. Good for the economy. I'll stop now. http://www.cherryblossomfestival.org

'State of Play' to be released April 17th

There was a clip on TV last night from 'State of Play' starring Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe. The movie was partly filmed in the building I live in, here in DC, last April. Russell and Ben were not very interested in lingering with the crowd that gathered to watch, in fact their handlers wouldn't even let us photograph them. The movie company took over our property for 4 days and nights while laying cable and lighting. They had extremely bright lights on during night filming, and disrupted our normal lives. Not that we minded. The movie opens in theatres April 17. I can't wait to see if it's any good, and how much of our property is in the movie. The picture is obviously one of our elevators.....wasn't much else to take pictures of!

POtD the National Marathon 3/21/09

A few runners in the National Marathon as seen from my balcony....this would be around the mile 20 mark. Some were draggin', some were walkin'...but by golly, they probably got it done! Congrats to all that finished and to those who tried! Running provides a natural high and once you're past the 'wall', if you don't drop from exhaustion, there is nothing like it.....and there's no way I could ever have run 26 miles!

That time in my life?

Yikes! This will be the second post on mortality! It's obviously foremost in my mind lately. I reckon I'm at the age when friends/relatives/acquaintances start havin' those 'old people problems'! Either they're dead already, have some kind of drastic need for surgery, or it's discovered they have some kind of debilating disease. ARGH! Funny thing is, I continue to think of myself as young, while for the most part, they haven't, and don't. I love riding my bike, taking walks with Mr Pimms, being outside. (This is why I hate winter!). Maybe I'm not running marathons like some 60 somethings, and I do smoke, which will likely shorten my life by a few years, but I do not sit around wondering why I don't feel like doing anything but sitting around! I have a few aches and pains. I ignore them. I have to work, which I'm certain keeps the brain part of me active.

I had a long conversation with a childhood friend yesterday. She's had some surgeries, and 3 weeks ago had her gallbladder removed. She's STILL sick. Has a fever, is puking bile, and shitting blood. She was put on various medications for pain. She was allergic to something that made her swell up like a puffer fish! Her surgeon is 76 years old. She told him how she felt and he told her that it's normal after gallbladder surgery. NO, IT'S NOT!! I told her she needs find a different doctor and find out why she's not feeling well! Damnable doctors, anyway! Not that there's anything wrong with a 76 year old who still practices medicine, but just maybe he's wrong! Maybe he doesn't want to admit he may have forgotten to stitch her up inside, or left a sponge in there! He has enjoyed a very good reputation for years so no one wants to question him! I told my friend she should talk to my sisterinlaw who had part of her colon removed due to diverticulitis. Her surgeon was also old and respected. He left her colon in knots. After months of agony and visiting other doctors she finally found one who would do an MRI. He discovered the knotted colon, told her what a mess it was, and fixed it. No more agony! She thought about suing the old doc for malpractice. No attorney would take the case. The old doc is still performing surgery! Why the hell can't ya find an attorney who'll take a malpractice case? What's up with that?? Doctors are always complaining about how high their malpractice insurance is!

So, the latest Readers Digest has an article on cancer screening. Read it. It will scare the shit outta ya. I have always thought if I was diagnosed with some kind of cancer I would refuse treatment. Now I'm sure I would. Once you're opened up and those cells escape into your blood stream they can end up everywhere. Then you're gone, that's a definite. The cancer can possibly go away on its own. Why take the chance of allowing it to run rampant? I have friends who are breast cancer survivors and I have had friends who've died from breast cancer. All of them were treated in some way. I've also had friends who've found lumps but refused treatment, and the lumps simply went away. Their doctors said it was likely just a swollen duct and they were lucky. Lucky? Who's to say what will and what won't go away on its own. In my 30s I had a lump on my thyroid. My doctor sent me to a surgeon who wanted to yank it outta my neck. Because my husband was screwing around and I was an emotional wreck at the time, I chose not to do anything. My thyroid died on its own and never caused any problems except that I'll be eternally on thyroid meds.

Years ago, I asked a young geriatric doctor if it would be smart for someone to get a body scan to see if there were any tumors or odd looking cells in the body. His take at the time was absolutely not. If the scan finds a spot (and everyone's body is different) that may look suspicious, your doctor might think it necessary to open you up and remove whatever he thinks it is, whether or not it's anything detrimental. Say it's a dormant cancer cell and he cuts into it and releases a million cancerous demons into your blood. B'bye in 6 months. If you hadn't known that spot was there, would it have become a problem? Probably not! I'm just sayin'.....

Do you trust that a diagnosis will be lethal if not treated? I don't really care to live to 100 or even 90. What the heck for? Even if I have my wits about me, unless I could still motor around on my bike, or take long walks, or love life to the fullest....what's the point? The ideal plan is to live life to the best of my ability, then make it quick. While sleeping. Frankly, I'm totally surprised I made it into the 21st century! I remember thinking 50 was ancient when I was 30! Then there's all those friends and acquaintances who have died way too young! Yep, it is what it is!

Morality....Mortality....

We all had parents of some sort or another. My Dad is awesome, my Mom was....interesting. Seems to be the norm, though. One parent is generally the better of the two at parenting and usually it is the Mom. It may take some kind of beverage to get through it, but Moms rule. Dads are more likely to be ‘there’ if absolutely necessary. They have more important things to do...they think they need to be ‘out in the forest picking berries and hunting for food’. It is amazing how some things will never change. Doesn't seem to matter that Mom is holding down a real job along with the kid job.

When my kids were growing up they weren’t allowed to do certain things.....like hit me, yell at me, scratch me, or in total, do anything to endanger themselves or others, at least when I was within earshot or able to see them. Some parents just don’t get it...these are kids, you’re the adult here. After you send them to their rooms or a corner for a timeout, look the little bastards in the eyes and tell them they will not get away with this shit. Then give them a much needed hug, tell them you love them and go on.

I know, who the hell am I to tell anyone what should be done with the belligerent little bastards? No one. I simply have an opinion. Because I’m old and have been through the raising of kids stages, I have a pretty good opinion. Besides, I watch Super Nanny and she happens to agree with my parenting ideas. Kids are awesome humans. They learn everything so quickly, including the bad stuff you teach them without you noticing they’re learning it.

Many of the lessons learned raising kids are learned in the process. Or not. If you have more than one, the second, third, or more, will seem so much easier, so much more fun, and almost enjoyable. When they start to enjoy each other’s company, life becomes nearly normal....or as normal as it can be with kids. Then they get to the stage where they hate each other and not until they’re adults do they appreciate each other again. Sometimes they even appreciate their parents! The sad thing is when they wait too long to realize they really do appreciate their parents. Then there's the really sad thing when the parents turn into children. Morality.... mortality.....the never-ending cycle of life.

PotD.....Help me!!!

PotD 2 T'Dee and BS

PotD 2 BS and Teddy mow the deck

PotD - BS

Finally, a beautiful day!BS and I had a blast outside Sunday!

PotD Mr Pimms

Poor doggy has it soooo rough! This is where I leave him in the morning, and find him when I get home. No WONDER he loves me unconditionally, eh?

facebook

okay, most of us have a past, some of us have a much longer past than others...mine is pretty long. i recently signed up on facebook, thinking maybe i would run into someone from the past. when you put things in facebook the system somehow figures out by your age or where you're from, or maybe something you say, who you might be friends with. one night i'm checking out the friends list, and lo and behold, there's a name from the very distant past. so i write on her wall 'are you the 'Jane Doe' who lived on Prospect Place in Vista?' that was all i said. so we have been playing phone tag for days and finally tonight she caught me at home.

we met when we were 12. lots of stuff happened to us and between us. we grew apart in high school because dumb stuff happens in high school. we talked about all those people we both knew and where they are now. we talked about our kids and their kids. we talked about ex-husbands, brother and sister-in-laws, parents-in-laws. where we have lived and worked. the conversation could have gone on all night. then she told me a very touching story about my dad.

when she was 11 her older sister died. she didn't tell me how or why, just that after that her mother couldn't live in the same house, or evidently even the same state, so they moved from Pennsylvania to California in an old car pulling a small trailer. her, her mom and dad and little sister. her parents didn't know where they would live or work, they just knew they wanted to be in California. as they rolled into Vista (my home town) one foggy night, they ran out of gas next to my dad's gas station. her dad asked my dad if he knew where they might park their trailer until they found jobs and could afford to move to a trailer park. my dad let them park behind his gas station until they found jobs. she said they were only there a few days, but her dad never forgot that kindness. i teared up. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that she hadn't told me that story before, kids never want to admit to being poor or different. even though we were close for many years and she spent time at our house, she had never mentioned it, and pop probably didn't realize she was the same kid whose family he had befriended that foggy night.

i'm hoping we can get together soon and share more stories. she was a great friend. we've missed each other. strange how we sometimes just let things go. we shouldn't.

PotY2008 BB and Great Grandpa Bergman

BB greets his Great Grandpa in California for GG's 90th birthday in October '08

Winter sunset on the Potomac 1/27/09

MofM and I were totally taken by the sunset last night! After days of dark, dreary skies, snow, and ice, the sun suddenly came out at 5:30 p.m. Was almost as great as a sunset on the Pacific, but not quite...

PotD2 - my little sweetieman...BB

PotD - my little sweetieman...BB

Who's your daddy? the continuing saga update

omg!

I just got off the phone with Jane. As she was struggling to figure this whole thing out, she decided to call one of her cousins whose mother (Jane's mother's sister) is still alive. She asked her cousin to call her mother and ask her what she knows. Turns out that Jane's mother had told 'all' to this sister, and also her other sisters....and the 'all' turns out to be much more than what she thought was her half-brother knew, or at least was willing to tell Jane....her 'half-brother', it turns out, is her 'whole-brother'. Jane's mother had also carried HIM!


The couple Jane's supposed father and real mother had befriended were also having trouble conceiving, but it was the woman who had the problem. Between them they somehow decided that Jane's mother would have a second child with the neighbor immediately after Jane, and give this child to them....aye, yi yi!



Jane is now in the process of finding out if her 'brother' knows all of this as well....

PotD ....a cold, clammy place ....Alcatraz

Who's your daddy?

Here’s a story that’ll make ya think…

I’m watching one of my favorite TV shows the other night and I get a call that comes up PRIVATE on my caller ID. This could have been my best friend from Littlehood (we’ll call her Jane) or it could be the gorgeous a-hole with whom I was idiot enough to live 15 years ago, and no longer wish to have any contact with. I hesitate to answer, mainly because of the TV show, but pick it up before it goes to voicemail out of guilt.

It’s my best friend from Littlehood, Jane. She sounds a little ‘off’. Suddenly she starts bawling like a baby! I have known this girl (we’re still ‘girls’ in my head) since we were 9 years old. We were neighbors. By the time we were in our early teens she was hiding at my house half the time because her parents were assholes. Her mother was wimpy and mean, and her dad was a religious zealot. You get the picture. She has a sister, 10 years older, and even when we were little, she seemed 100 years old. In essence, it wasn’t like having a sister, just another weird, wimpy, and mean mother. My dad (Pop) loved my friend. We entertained Pop by dancing to ‘Tequila’ and putting on stupid little plays for him. By the time we were teenagers her parents hated me for no apparent reason, except that Jane liked me, and I was fun to be around. When Jane would disappear and end up at our house, Pop always covered for her. Probably a dumb thing to do, but she never stayed late, and I have no idea WHAT she told her parents.

So she’s crying so hard I can hardly understand her. Finally she slows down and tells me she has just found out that her father wasn’t her father. The funny thing here (funny weird, not funny ha ha) is the weekend before, Jane and I had been on the phone for 90 minutes and one of the MANY things we talked about AGAIN (having discussed this before at intervals) was how she must have been adopted because she has never looked like either her father or her mother (both, by the way, are now deceased). I told her I thought she looked KINDA like her mother, who at least had darker skin than her father who was a pasty white with freckles. Jane is dark enough to be half Mexican or Italian and the only one of us who was ever able to get a great tan in summer! Well, guess she was KINDA right about the adoption part.

Turns out that after having Jane’s sister her parents could not conceive another child and somehow determined it was dad that was faulty in that regard. During this period of time they lived in the outskirts of San Diego where they had some very nice neighbors. They became (quite evidently) extremely good friends with these folks. Somewhere along the line, they all decided that Jane’s mom could sleep with this handy neighbor and quite possibly conceive a second child, and she did. Jane. This would not be quite the shock if Jane’s father hadn’t been a religious zealot, but then perhaps he became a religious zealot after this occurred….who knows. Two years later, the extremely good neighbors had a son.

After the birth of the neighbor’s son, Jane’s parents decided it might be a good idea to move away from these wonderful and extremely helpful folks. They kept in touch for a few years but then the close ties faded. Imagine that?

Jane’s mom died of cancer in 1992, in Jane’s house. Yes, Jane cared for her until her dying day. Jane’s dad moved to Arkansas after that, but returned to Jane’s for a grandson’s wedding in 1998. He died of a massive stroke in Jane’s dining room the morning of the wedding. They must have hoped that Jane would never discover their little secret.

Jane’s half-brother called her last weekend. He had been searching for her since his mother died in 1994 at the age of 93. At her deathbed, she had revealed the long-held secret to her only son.

When Jane finally stopped crying, and we talked for an hour, she realized this was a blessing in disguise. She has a brother, and a whole new set of nieces and nephews, etc. She’d always wanted a brother. We compared pictures of them and it is uncanny how much they look alike. I think now she’s crying for happy, not shock.

My guess is that stuff like this has always gone on. It’s likely rare it gets discovered.

PsotD Obama, Obama, Obama

I decided not to go to the Inauguration today because unless you had a ticket you ended up in the Potomac, or nearly. So....I took pictures on my TV, which if I had HD may have been a bit clearer... and I did want to see all of the goings on. Also, you had to choose between the parade or the Inauguration Address...clearly, I wanted to see both!


This pic is of our new Pres giving his Inaugural Address, with his normal awesome mix of words.

















Next, the Bushes (?) leave Washington, and the Obamas send them off. (I'm not saying it was happily, but I would bet it was CLOSE to happily!)





Last, but certainly not least, the signing of agreements to prove that Obama is President, immediately following his inauguration......