Peopleist: one who believes there are crappy people among all races

I'm totally not a racist...but I am a peoplelist! I don't think I was a peopleist until moving to DC. This has nothing to do with race. It does, however, have to do with people, meaning that I don't care what ethnicity someone is, there is a huge difference in people. Maybe it's their personal history, maybe it's simply geography.

Okay, I'm sorry, but here's where that opinion originated...working and dealing with people in DC for the past 13 years, particularly women. What's with the idea that the government should compensate them for their biological histories. It's been 200 years or more! Some families have been on the government take for generations. My theory is, if you don't like how America has treated 'you' for the last 2 days, 2 months, 2 years or yes, 200 years, go home! My son-in-law is black. I'm sure he has basically the same history any black person has. He's a graduate of Stanford, has a fabulous job, a great attitude, and doesn't think anyone owes him anything. He couldn't live in DC even though he tried. It's a different culture than he cares to live in.

I was all for Obama winnng the Presidential election. When I saw him speak at the Democratic convention in '04, I thought, what a guy! He's dynamic, brilliant, and has the style and charisma of Clinton or a Kennedy. I really believed he just might be able to lead the country back to some kind civility.

Then i saw him on CNN after he won the primary in South Carolina. Reality hit....standing next to him was his African American wife. Oh, my god! What was I thinking!? Obama in the whitehouse is one thing, but having a black woman in the whitehouse? Then i heard her speak. She is also brilliant. She said she hopes African Americans do not vote for her husband 'just because he's black'. uh, okay....that may not be the case across America, but here in DC? OH YEAH....they will vote for him because he is black! And if he does indeed win even the nomination? oh, my god! Does anyone remember DC when OJ was found 'not guilty'?? From SE up through PG County there will be celebrating...and not because Obama is a brilliant man, but because his skin is dark. Rather than going with the idea that this man is like any other man who takes the initiative to make something of his life, some folks look at him as a 'saviour' for others in their race. What...he's going to make their lives better because he's their color? Do they think 'ahhh, at last we'll get reparation for our history of slavery'? Okay, slavery was an awful thing. Children were ripped from their mothers and sold. Families were destroyed. It was truly horrible what happened. The truth of the matter is, however, that some of the slaves were brought here by black men. Maybe some of the folks here in DC are related to those merchants who sold people to Americans.

Working with people everyday, some paid very high salaries doing the same job I do but showing up for work late, taking long lunches, and complaining all the time simply drives me to be a peopleist. And in this beautiful city of Washington, where example should be made of us because we are the Nation's Capital, fraud, deceit, and manipulation runs rampant. Maybe it does in all big cities, but here, it's generally those who believe they are owed something. Maybe there isn't a difference in feeling like you're owed something, and just plain greed.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe, 'truth be known', I am a racist pig.

Happy/Sad

October, 2007. Celebrating my Dad's 89th birthday, and memorializing the death of my sister. I had 3 siblings. Two brothers, Terry, 9 years my senior, and Bergy (Carl Jr.) two years my junior. A sister, Diane, 7 years my senior. My sister and I were never what you could call 'close'. We were in fact, worlds apart. As kids, she accused me of being a spoiled brat, I accused her of being a slut. Based on what we knew at the time, I guess we were both right. I thought she was slut because when I was 8 and she 15 I would catch her kissing boys in our avocado grove. Of course I would always rat on her, she would get in trouble, and she would call me a spoiled brat. Makes sense now. Even over the years we never became the friends most sisters do. We always seemed worlds apart. I guess I loved her because she was my sister....but like the old saying goes...'you can pick your friends'...something about relatives goes in that next part....

My sister woke up one morning in early 2004 unable to speak clearly. Everyone immediately thought she'd had a stroke. It was later determined she had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. A rapidly progressive, invariably fatal neurological disease that attacks the nerve cells (neurons) responsible for controlling voluntary muscles. A horrible, debilitating disease with no known cure nor real understanding of where it comes from. Her descent was gradual for many months. She was able to swallow soft foods, but unable to talk. Eventually, she had to have a feeding tube. The last time I saw her, 6 months before her death, she could walk normally, smile and write down what she was thinking on the little pad and pen she carried. I had planned to visit her in October while in California to celebrate Pop's birthday. The week before I was to travel out there she succumbed to this horrific disease. Family members stayed in her home so she didn't have to die in a hospice. I made the trip to California as scheduled. My daughters and son joined me there for the memorial service and to celebrate Pop's 89th birthday. It was a sad and joyous time. I'm so grateful my Pop is still alive and well....golfing and swimming.

The dating scene...

I know....I'm over the hill when it comes to dating but I can still imagine there might be that perfect someone out there. 10 years ago I tried the AOL Singles site. It was pretty straightforward. Many new sites have appeared since then, some of them AOL-related. eHarmony is probably the one you would think would hold the most weight when it comes to 'screening people'. After filling out pages of who I am and what I'm looking for (yeah, that helped) I decided to try one of my 'perfect matches'. Young women out there, realize that when you're over the age of 50-something and trying to find Mr. Right (again), Mr. Right suddenly seems mighty old and may appear to have been ridden hard and put away wet (this is a horse-person saying by the way) and if he doesn't appear that way, he's likely dating someone in her 30s. So what does that leave me, but choices of the following: married and looking for a fling; looking for 'young things'; retired and too tired to enjoy life. Not a great group of choices. So back to the one I tried....he was better looking than his picture, which is really unusual; was extremely charismatic; acted like he was really into me. We had sushi, a great dinner, lots of wine....and well, you know the rest. Though I thought it odd that he had to leave quickly at 10 p.m., I fully expected a phone call the following day asking me to go for a drive, get lunch, have dinner at his place....SOMETHING!! I emailed him a few days later saying something like 'so...what's up?' to which he didn't reply. That was it. I gave up. I'm not about to chase anyone. He was either an extremely good actor, gay, or married. At first I was devastated to think someone would play with anyone's feelings like that, but then reality raised its ugly head and I was over it. His profile is still online. He's still out there.

I have come to the conclusion that there is really no reason to upset my life by engaging in a relationship. I have a dog. I have all the things that make me love life. Why ruin that by sharing it with someone with different ideals. Truly, no matter how compatible 2 people are, there are always things that cause turmoil. I have absolutely no turmoil in my life.

Snow day.....

DC doesn't get much snow, and the way people drive when it snows in DC makes you realize they must all be from a much warmer part of this country, or perhaps from some warmer country, period. Now, granted, I'm from a much warmer part of this country where snow only falls in the mountains 50 miles away, but for some unknown reason I don't seem to have a problem. Driving in snow is a simple process. First and foremost you have to watch the a-holes around you who think they can still drive 40 in a 25 mile zone and/or 70 on the beltway. I drive in the city every day and get really irritated at slow drivers, phone talkers, lipstick or mascara putting-on women, and food eaters, but in the snow? Not so much. I stay way back from the guy in front of me, and watch anyone behind or to the sides of me because I know what they're thinking....'I can go a little faster, this road isn't slick....woops!' and they're off the road. I don't want to be in the way when that brilliant thought goes through their tiny little brains. Ice is an entirely different issue. On Christmas Eve-Eve 1999 it took me 4 1/2 hours to drive from Reston to Rockville. The weatherman, in all his brilliance, had predicted freezing rain beginning at 8 p.m. I left work at 4, the freezing rain began at 4:15. The 4 1/2 hour trip taught me a couple of things: 1) VDOT should install porta pottys along 495 and 2) always go to the bathroom before leaving anywhere to get anywhere if there is the slightest possibility you won't get to where it is you're going within the next 4 1/2 hours.

what was I thinking?

The journey began nearly 13 years ago. I left California with all my worldly belongings packed into a Ryder truck, and my then 19 year old daughter. I left behind the remnants of a 21 year marriage, my son, my siblings, and my Dad. Not to mention a few very good friends. After a week of being chased by one snow storm and following another, snacking on Fritos and bean dip, eating dinner at truck stops, and 3 Ryder trucks later, we arrived in Georgetown at 7 on a Friday night. My other daughter had recently been recruited from a San Francisco company and was living in DC at the Kennedy Warren. She had invited us to join her on her new journey. It was a brave new beginning for the three of us.

13 years later, I'm still wondering what I was thinking, but glad I did it. My life could not be fuller. And DC is a beautiful city.