2021....so far, it's gonna be a better year than last. At least it seems so at this point.  Ader has set up meetings with a company who will enrich Jack's life.  At least we hope that'll be the case.  

So many things to talk about. I studied for and took the California Notary exam in Redding,CA.  What a joke.  I studied for days and hours and more than likely failed.  The questions on the exam were NOT the questions on the pre-exam that I studied for days!  Very disappointing! 

Since moving here, I have become friends with a couple people through the Folsom City Zoo Sanctuary.  I enjoy doing lunch and wine tasting and stuff with them but miss being a docent at the zoo.  It's March 2021, a fucking YEAR after the pandemic began and we're still basically in lockdown in the world but hoping to be able to tour school kids through the zoo again soon.  The best exercise I'd had in a long, long, ever-so-long time! During the lockdown I have gained somewhere in the neighborhood of 15-20 lbs....UGH

Also made a great friend in Matty, my gay neighbor with whom I bike on a week-endly basis.  He's a real case.  Lives with his partner who was married to a woman and has 3 kids.  One of those kids, a 17 year old, lives with Matty and his partner. He used to visit them every-other weekend instead of living with them, but threatened to kill his mother so she decided he should live with the dad....likely to save her life.

I'm hangin' in through another few months of not being able to travel.  Hoping Bergy and I will be able to fly to Iowa for the family reunion in July, then return to go to Jordan and Ras' wedding 2 weeks later.  Out trip to Europe may not happen even though it isn't until November as Italy and that whole area is back to lockdown.  UGH.  Just want this whole pandemic to be over.  Guess I'll go have a banana and peanut butter or an orange or something and watch TV.  Have to be up really early tomorrow to go to Clear Choice and finally have my teeth cleaned!

what next......

and the beat goes on....and on.....and on.

i’m not sure what causes some people’s lives to be so interrupted they cannot regain the control they once had over everything near and dear to them.  the how and why of this happening is way beyond anything anyone really knows.

my heart is breaking.  i am terrified that someone very loved by me and others will become depressed and so disheartened about life that he may not want to go on.  this is so terrifying.  i am talking him down as best i can but who knows what it really takes to get back to what will make you want to go on!?

i’ll monitor the situation best i can.  it’s really all i can do.

I AM SO SAD.

okay, here it is.  laying it all out there because i can and i will.

there are many things in this crazy (specially now) world that i don’t and will never understand.  here is one that is not only troublesome but stupid and it will never, as long as i fucking live,  EVER make sense to me unless and until i hear an explanation that makes sense from those which it SHOULD make sense of some kind!

so.....my 40 something year old son loses his job of 13 years because some new asshole manager of him doesn’t like him cuz he’s gay, has purple hair and goes to burning man.  mmmm ok.  that would be called DISCRIMINATION in most places but since the fucking company in which he worked laid off 400 + people in the same timeframe, a law suit would have seemed frivolous!  BULLSHIT!!

From the first time my son told me about this new manager the conversation was about how the new manager didn’t like him for ‘some reason’.  HEL-FUCKING-LO.

anyhoot....so he gets laid off and somewhere in the same timeframe (i’m not sure when this occurred) my son is diagnosed with MS.  WTflying F????  This may have been another reason for him to be laid off.  who fucking knows!

Sooooo, son goes to work for Burning Man in some high-falutin capacity as GATE something and loves this job.  BUT somewhere along the line he gets hit in the head, either by falling or other wise, and gets a concussion which is debilitating!!  WTF again!?  Later, at some point very vague to me at this point, he is assaulted in San Francisco during a Burning Man thing! Not sure WTF here. Then so many other ’things’ happen to him.

bottom line: HE IS GONE TO US.  Us being his family, his partner/husband, his friends.  We do not know WhoTF he is or WTF he is doing, or with whom.

HOW DOES THIS FUCKING HAPPEN?????  I am crying all the time.  My brilliant son has disappeared from all of us who have known him to be a solid, wonderful, brilliant, caring and stable human.

SOMEONE PLEASE FIX THIS.

i have no idea what to say here....it’ll be interesting to see what happens in the next few weeks.  i’ll try to be online on this site to share what the hell is happening...but stuff happens to cause that not to happen...ehehehe

Okay, it is getting close to take off for my 'road trip with doggie'.  I am really getting excited.  i may run into some kinda weather, and have to stay longer somewhere than planned, but it'll be all good.

hmmmm the date now is April 2015...and I don’t know why we woulda been on yet another road trip at this time???  

anyhoot...nada...no trip, road or other!!  ;-\