SoCal Transplant

Love my life!

2011-10-15T10:29:00.001-04:00

Lots has happened in the nearly a year since my last post! Pop died, Hune died, Mr Pimms died... Wow, no wonder i'm always on the verge of tears...but still, life goes on & it is good!

Americans are such idiots!!!!!!

2010-11-29T18:23:00.001-05:00

What the hell is wrong with us!? Instead of profiling these assholes who hate us and want to blow us to smitherines, we kiss their fucking asses!! We are so fucking stupid! I am old. My dad is 92 for fucking sake! We love this country. We love this country...because...guess what??? for the same fucking reasons these asshole muslims want to blow us to smitherines!! if they don't like us or like being in the United States of America....what the fuck??? go away...go live in your country!

i hate that we can't just tell them how we feel or profile them! WHAT?????? Have we gone insane??? why can't we say what we think anymore??? FUCK THAT!!!!

From a post January 2009; We meet in DC on Memorial Day 2010 after 40 years + or - a few

2010-06-02T10:25:00.005-04:00

So she was in DC with her hubby and we shared a delightful couple hours just chatting away! was awesome! i'm hoping they'll come back soon so we can spend days not just hours. i can see why we were friends!

okay, most of us have a past, some of us have a much longer past than others...mine is pretty long. i recently signed up on facebook, thinking maybe i would run into someone from the past. when you put things in facebook the system somehow figures out by your age or where you're from, or maybe something you say, who you might be friends with. one night i'm checking out the friends list, and lo and behold, there's a name from the very distant past. so i write on her wall 'are you the 'Jane Doe' who lived on Prospect Place in Vista?' that was all i said. so we have been playing phone tag for days and finally tonight she caught me at home.

we met when we were 12. lots of stuff happened to us and between us. we grew apart in high school because dumb stuff happens in high school. we talked about all those people we both knew and where they are now. we talked about our kids and their kids. we talked about ex-husbands, brother and sister-in-laws, parents-in-laws. where we have lived and worked. the conversation could have gone on all night. then she told me a very touching story about my dad.

when she was 11 her older sister died. she didn't tell me how or why, just that after that her mother couldn't live in the same house, or evidently even the same state, so they moved from Pennsylvania to California in an old car pulling a small trailer. her, her mom and dad and little sister. her parents didn't know where they would live or work, they just knew they wanted to be in California. as they rolled into Vista (my home town) one foggy night, they ran out of gas next to my dad's gas station. her dad asked my dad if he knew where they might park their trailer until they found jobs and could afford to move to a trailer park. my dad let them park behind his gas station until they found jobs. she said they were only there a few days, but her dad never forgot that kindness. i teared up. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that she hadn't told me that story before, kids never want to admit to being poor or different. even though we were close for many years and she spent time at our house, she had never mentioned it, and pop probably didn't realize she was the same kid whose family he had befriended that foggy night.

i'm hoping we can get together soon and share more stories. she was a great friend. we've missed each other. strange how we sometimes just let things go. we shouldn't.
Posted by SoCal Transplant at 9:26 PM 6 comments Links to this post

California - April 2010 the family road trip

2010-04-20T21:17:00.001-04:00

Cherry blossoms 2010

2010-04-03T09:00:00.001-04:00

these were taken Saturday April 3 on a bike ride that ended up being basically a bike walk....way too many people even at 7:30 a.m. to ride!

The not too bright Nancy Mendenhall....(Bright)

2010-03-29T19:03:00.010-04:00

We all know how stupid men can be.....the woman pictured above (once thought to be a hottie, evidently) should not be trusted in anything she does. 15 years ago she manipulated my husband of 21 years into believing she was the better choice, and 15 years later I'm still thinking she needs to be dealt with on some level. I believe in some states she could be sued, or at least could have been sued....but even if she could have been sued, the statute of limitations likely has run out. Bummer.

Warning - don't allow this woman near any male relative, particularly if he is wealthy or married. She is currently married to some poor sucker named John Mendenhall and they sell real estate together at Keller Williams in San Diego. I'm wondering if this poor guy had money or a wife....? I'm guessing both.

If you happen to be in the market to buy or sell anywhere in San Diego County, stay away from this fat f-ing bitch. Bitter? Me? Nah...just happen to think she deserves anything unwieldy that comes along. You may also want to note that she has not aged very well...HAHAHAHAHAHA

2010-02-28T17:30:00.001-05:00

lucky dog!

2010-01-01T15:45:00.000-05:00

My Mr Pimms got to spend Christmas (through New Years) with my friends, Kevin and Damien at Rehoboth, DE while I was in Denver with the family. These guys are the best! They have a beautiful doggie too, Maggie. She sometimes spends time with me and Pimms. Like I said, lucky dog!

Me and Keira

2010-01-01T11:48:00.000-05:00

This child will be president some day..... if not, she will surely be involved in causes important to Americans with blue eyes. (doesn't make sense now, but it will in 30 years!)

Christmas in Denver 2009

2009-12-31T18:37:00.002-05:00

Auntie Tete and the kids decorate the 'kid's tree' in the basement...
Making ornaments from scratch with colored paper and cutting them out...
diligent little workers and hanging the finished products....

Two months later....

2009-12-31T12:00:00.002-05:00

Still quit....unbelievable! I have even been on two extraordinary vacations and though I struggled with the 'lack of something' feeling constantly, I was able to fend off the smoking urge by eating nuts! I have definitely gained a few pounds in all the wrong places, but when I complain out loud somebody always says 'it's better than smoking'....argh! So, you see, the urge is still there, hidden beneath a ton of nuts and other foods that now taste so unbelievably good. Problem. Seems, too, that I am drinking more alcohol...hmmmmm, not sure that's really better than smoking. I am totally enjoying bloody Marys and wine whenever it's available. And, believe me, it'd better be available within a reasonable time or that personality no one wants to meet gets pretty close to coming out. That would be the personality I had when it'd been much too long between cigs! uh oh!

I will keep the faith, and maintain my behavior. Gaining weight all the way. No problem. I have at least started to walk/jog on the treadmill...certainly not often enough, but hey, I am doing it.

I feel like I can say it now!! I QUIT!!

2009-11-07T23:13:00.003-05:00

Okay.....sorry about not keeping a daily record, but for some reason I was a little distracted for the first 3 weeks. We got the pills October 7. We were both done 3 weeks, 3 days later. Neither of us needed to smoke. Chantix is amazing. Neither of us had any ill effects. The 'nightmares' for both of us were simply strange dreams....I had dreams about people I haven't seen or spoken to in years. I'm still kinda distracted....but it's getting better, more focused on things I didn't focus on because I was always chasing the few minutes to break away for a ciggie!

We're still on the pills....for the second month. Neither of us want to take a chance of losing this lack of even thinking about having a ciggie....it truly is amazing.

second day

2009-10-09T12:50:00.002-04:00

things went really well....just kinda 'out there', if ya know what i mean....loopy! it's the normal stuff that just seems different somehow.

no dreams last night, good night's sleep. toe cramps, but likely not related!

i'm off to California next week, wednesday through following tuesday....which means long flights. long flights usually kill me, so we'll see if there's a difference this time....like maybe the not being able to smoke for 7 hours won't cause me to have fits!

more later

First Day w/Chantix.....new use for the ashtray?

2009-10-08T12:29:00.006-04:00

So, you wonder, how it's going?

Here’s my take on the first day with Chantix – a brilliant idea, by the way, developed by German scientists. Does that surprise me? Not at all.

Anyhoot – first pill, first day: think most of what I felt was all in my head. The anxiety of number 1 – quitting; number 2 – worrying about all the side-effects mentioned in their advertising! The most feared to me is nausea! ARGH! Don’t really care if I have a heart attack, just don’t wanna puke!

Here’s how it went. Felt (other than anxious) fine until around 9:15 when I got into to the elevator to go outside for a ciggie. My contacts were bugging me so I shook my head and immediately got dizzy and saw double! By the time I got out of the elevator (5 floors) I was fine. One of the effects? I have no idea! Caused by anxiety? Probably! Then there were the weird dreams….not bad, not frightening. Colorful. The first thing I remembered when I awoke was the dream was everyone at work wearing the same color two different days. Just weird.

Today is much better…however, I seem to be a little distracted somehow. The stuff I normally do by rote seem to not quite be there….towel-drying my hair this morning seemed different, you know how you always do stuff like that the same way every time! Can’t even explain what was different, just know it was.

One thing I happily noticed this morning was there were more cigs left in my pack than there would normally have been….meaning I had smoked much less than usual and didn’t even notice! Now that’s great….I’m not caring that I’m not noticing that I’m not smoking as much! Does that even make sense? Kinda cool how it just makes ya not care. Very strange stuff.

Update tomorrow >

first pill tomorrow morning....

2009-10-06T19:52:00.003-04:00

i will take it and forget it! i'll report at the end of the day tomorrow... first through fourth day is one pill in the morning. after fourth day it's one pill in the morning, one in the evening. i'll report daily.

the beginning of the end....of smoking, that is....

2009-09-23T19:44:00.002-04:00

MoFM went for her annual checkup today and asked her doc for Chantix....for both of us. Actually, she told her doc i kept 'misplacing' the prescriptions my doc gave me, so he offered to write me one, too. GREAT!! So...we will get the 'scripts' filled together, and end the battle with the cigs! We plan to share any nightmares we have and any other weird symptoms. This will be good. Smoking is such a stupid, stupid crutch, but certainly not an easy one to get past.

What will it be like not to have the NEED to run out of the building every 2 hours or so at work? What will it be like to have a car that doesn't smell like an ashtray? What will my clothes do without the stench of smoke? My balcony will even smell like the Jasmine growing on it instead of lingering stale smoke. Wow. Why didn't I think of this before.....like 30 years ago? I did. I quit in 1990 for a full year. Gained 40 pounds, which made it difficult to play soccer....at least I convinced myself the weight made it more difficult to run than the smoking! What caused me to pick it up again? I was still married to the smoking Gorton who had set his smoke down in an ashtray, and I picked that sucker up like I'd never quit. Unbelievable. That's all it took for me to somehow justify starting again. DUMB!!

Anyway, I will keep a running account of how it's going. Stay tuned.

The Graduate

2009-09-08T20:47:00.002-04:00

Okay, so this was taken from a long way from the podium but I got the shot and you can tell she's proud and WE were all proud of her! This wonderful kid lives in Denver and flys all over the country in her job. She's incredible, brilliant, and beautiful....what more could a mom ask! Oh, and by the way? She does triathlons in her spare time! Jeeeez. If you're lucky enough to have raised great kids like I have....count your blessings. I do, every day. All three of them are the greatest!

AHEWG and IJW August 14, 2009

2009-09-08T20:40:00.004-04:00

They are the most wonderful kids (not so much kids anymore) but they're MY kids! This silly shot of them was taken at my other wonderful kid's dinner after her graduation from Denver University. Awesome!

Funny how all of our eyes disappear when we smile! I hate that!

My sweeties at the beach, and the fourth

2009-07-24T22:20:00.001-04:00

pictures

2009-07-24T22:14:00.001-04:00

okay, so Alholian bought me a new laptop because i took his mother to the beach, and he knows he owes me BIG time!! so now i can post some pictures!! yay....they are of the 4th of July, (better late than never), the kids at the beach, and other stuff....don'tcha miss the hellouta MoFM??

WTF

2009-07-14T15:50:00.004-04:00

seems that AL (or as I prefer to call him, Aholian) has won the battle....MoFM couldn't fight it any longer....sad, sad, sad. it is good that he's turned over a whole new forest, country, globe...but at what cost? guess as long as he's keeping MoFM happy i'm good with it....i reckon choosing husband over blog is the right thing to do....IF he maintains his current behavior!

summer has been extremely good, so far.....been to Vegas, Palm Springs, Cabo....caught some kind of weird virus, got a raise at work...i'm spending this weekend at the beach with the grandkids......yeah, i'll let ya know how THAT turns out.

my poor little dog had 8 teeth pulled, then spent two weeks with my buds, Kevin and Damien while he was recuperating...they were really good to him.....poor little dude had the teeth pulled just before my two weeks wandering around the country....sorry, guys! they're awesome with Mr Pimms....they have spaniel, Maggie that just loves Mr Pimms so it works out very well...

i'll post some pics now since i haven't been on here in months, and now that MoFM isn't anymore....well, you get the drift.

Easter - oh, the dancing and egg-dyeing, and oh yeah, sponge Bob break....

2009-04-19T13:47:00.003-04:00

Easter 2009

2009-04-15T20:23:00.004-04:00

The beauty of Spring!

Good times, indeed....from the dyeing of the eggs at my place, to the Jewish/Mexican Easter Brunch, to the hunt for the big-eyed eggs, to baking cupcakes....oh, and not to forget BS dancing to Credence Clearwater! Definitely....the best of times!

Everyone should have this much 'fun' when they're my age!

2009-03-28T16:07:00.004-04:00

3 of my crazy neighbors and I did the Manna, Inc run (in the drizzle) this morning....well, some of us ran, some of us struggled at that last hill! There's just nothin' better than getting outside in the Spring! And here (you know, having lived in San Diego most of my life I could be outside year-round) you really can't enjoy being outside until all that nasty snow and stuff goes away!

Happy Spring! Get out in DC and see the Cherry Blossoms! They're beautiful this year, even in the drizzle. Those of us who live here really tire quickly of the bus traffic and pedestrians who cross against the red light and hold up traffic, but that's okay....come and enjoy. Then go home. Like the bumper sticker in California....'Welcome to California, now go home'...not that I ever had one, of course. Unlike California, DC likes to have visitors. Good for the economy. I'll stop now. http://www.cherryblossomfestival.org

'State of Play' to be released April 17th

2009-03-24T09:49:00.009-04:00

There was a clip on TV last night from 'State of Play' starring Ben Affleck and Russell Crowe. The movie was partly filmed in the building I live in, here in DC, last April. Russell and Ben were not very interested in lingering with the crowd that gathered to watch, in fact their handlers wouldn't even let us photograph them. The movie company took over our property for 4 days and nights while laying cable and lighting. They had extremely bright lights on during night filming, and disrupted our normal lives. Not that we minded. The movie opens in theatres April 17. I can't wait to see if it's any good, and how much of our property is in the movie. The picture is obviously one of our elevators.....wasn't much else to take pictures of!

POtD the National Marathon 3/21/09

2009-03-22T09:35:00.003-04:00

A few runners in the National Marathon as seen from my balcony....this would be around the mile 20 mark. Some were draggin', some were walkin'...but by golly, they probably got it done! Congrats to all that finished and to those who tried! Running provides a natural high and once you're past the 'wall', if you don't drop from exhaustion, there is nothing like it.....and there's no way I could ever have run 26 miles!

That time in my life?

2009-03-21T11:24:00.008-04:00

Yikes! This will be the second post on mortality! It's obviously foremost in my mind lately. I reckon I'm at the age when friends/relatives/acquaintances start havin' those 'old people problems'! Either they're dead already, have some kind of drastic need for surgery, or it's discovered they have some kind of debilating disease. ARGH! Funny thing is, I continue to think of myself as young, while for the most part, they haven't, and don't. I love riding my bike, taking walks with Mr Pimms, being outside. (This is why I hate winter!). Maybe I'm not running marathons like some 60 somethings, and I do smoke, which will likely shorten my life by a few years, but I do not sit around wondering why I don't feel like doing anything but sitting around! I have a few aches and pains. I ignore them. I have to work, which I'm certain keeps the brain part of me active.

I had a long conversation with a childhood friend yesterday. She's had some surgeries, and 3 weeks ago had her gallbladder removed. She's STILL sick. Has a fever, is puking bile, and shitting blood. She was put on various medications for pain. She was allergic to something that made her swell up like a puffer fish! Her surgeon is 76 years old. She told him how she felt and he told her that it's normal after gallbladder surgery. NO, IT'S NOT!! I told her she needs find a different doctor and find out why she's not feeling well! Damnable doctors, anyway! Not that there's anything wrong with a 76 year old who still practices medicine, but just maybe he's wrong! Maybe he doesn't want to admit he may have forgotten to stitch her up inside, or left a sponge in there! He has enjoyed a very good reputation for years so no one wants to question him! I told my friend she should talk to my sisterinlaw who had part of her colon removed due to diverticulitis. Her surgeon was also old and respected. He left her colon in knots. After months of agony and visiting other doctors she finally found one who would do an MRI. He discovered the knotted colon, told her what a mess it was, and fixed it. No more agony! She thought about suing the old doc for malpractice. No attorney would take the case. The old doc is still performing surgery! Why the hell can't ya find an attorney who'll take a malpractice case? What's up with that?? Doctors are always complaining about how high their malpractice insurance is!

So, the latest Readers Digest has an article on cancer screening. Read it. It will scare the shit outta ya. I have always thought if I was diagnosed with some kind of cancer I would refuse treatment. Now I'm sure I would. Once you're opened up and those cells escape into your blood stream they can end up everywhere. Then you're gone, that's a definite. The cancer can possibly go away on its own. Why take the chance of allowing it to run rampant? I have friends who are breast cancer survivors and I have had friends who've died from breast cancer. All of them were treated in some way. I've also had friends who've found lumps but refused treatment, and the lumps simply went away. Their doctors said it was likely just a swollen duct and they were lucky. Lucky? Who's to say what will and what won't go away on its own. In my 30s I had a lump on my thyroid. My doctor sent me to a surgeon who wanted to yank it outta my neck. Because my husband was screwing around and I was an emotional wreck at the time, I chose not to do anything. My thyroid died on its own and never caused any problems except that I'll be eternally on thyroid meds.

Years ago, I asked a young geriatric doctor if it would be smart for someone to get a body scan to see if there were any tumors or odd looking cells in the body. His take at the time was absolutely not. If the scan finds a spot (and everyone's body is different) that may look suspicious, your doctor might think it necessary to open you up and remove whatever he thinks it is, whether or not it's anything detrimental. Say it's a dormant cancer cell and he cuts into it and releases a million cancerous demons into your blood. B'bye in 6 months. If you hadn't known that spot was there, would it have become a problem? Probably not! I'm just sayin'.....

Do you trust that a diagnosis will be lethal if not treated? I don't really care to live to 100 or even 90. What the heck for? Even if I have my wits about me, unless I could still motor around on my bike, or take long walks, or love life to the fullest....what's the point? The ideal plan is to live life to the best of my ability, then make it quick. While sleeping. Frankly, I'm totally surprised I made it into the 21st century! I remember thinking 50 was ancient when I was 30! Then there's all those friends and acquaintances who have died way too young! Yep, it is what it is!

Morality....Mortality....

2009-02-28T18:45:00.014-05:00

We all had parents of some sort or another. My Dad is awesome, my Mom was....interesting. Seems to be the norm, though. One parent is generally the better of the two at parenting and usually it is the Mom. It may take some kind of beverage to get through it, but Moms rule. Dads are more likely to be ‘there’ if absolutely necessary. They have more important things to do...they think they need to be ‘out in the forest picking berries and hunting for food’. It is amazing how some things will never change. Doesn't seem to matter that Mom is holding down a real job along with the kid job.

When my kids were growing up they weren’t allowed to do certain things.....like hit me, yell at me, scratch me, or in total, do anything to endanger themselves or others, at least when I was within earshot or able to see them. Some parents just don’t get it...these are kids, you’re the adult here. After you send them to their rooms or a corner for a timeout, look the little bastards in the eyes and tell them they will not get away with this shit. Then give them a much needed hug, tell them you love them and go on.

I know, who the hell am I to tell anyone what should be done with the belligerent little bastards? No one. I simply have an opinion. Because I’m old and have been through the raising of kids stages, I have a pretty good opinion. Besides, I watch Super Nanny and she happens to agree with my parenting ideas. Kids are awesome humans. They learn everything so quickly, including the bad stuff you teach them without you noticing they’re learning it.

Many of the lessons learned raising kids are learned in the process. Or not. If you have more than one, the second, third, or more, will seem so much easier, so much more fun, and almost enjoyable. When they start to enjoy each other’s company, life becomes nearly normal....or as normal as it can be with kids. Then they get to the stage where they hate each other and not until they’re adults do they appreciate each other again. Sometimes they even appreciate their parents! The sad thing is when they wait too long to realize they really do appreciate their parents. Then there's the really sad thing when the parents turn into children. Morality.... mortality.....the never-ending cycle of life.

PotD.....Help me!!!

2009-02-13T19:54:00.000-05:00

PotD 2 T'Dee and BS

2009-02-13T19:52:00.001-05:00

PotD 2 BS and Teddy mow the deck

2009-02-10T18:31:00.000-05:00

PotD - BS

2009-02-10T18:27:00.000-05:00

Finally, a beautiful day!BS and I had a blast outside Sunday!

PotD Mr Pimms

2009-02-02T18:12:00.000-05:00

Poor doggy has it soooo rough! This is where I leave him in the morning, and find him when I get home. No WONDER he loves me unconditionally, eh?

facebook

2009-01-30T21:26:00.004-05:00

okay, most of us have a past, some of us have a much longer past than others...mine is pretty long. i recently signed up on facebook, thinking maybe i would run into someone from the past. when you put things in facebook the system somehow figures out by your age or where you're from, or maybe something you say, who you might be friends with. one night i'm checking out the friends list, and lo and behold, there's a name from the very distant past. so i write on her wall 'are you the 'Jane Doe' who lived on Prospect Place in Vista?' that was all i said. so we have been playing phone tag for days and finally tonight she caught me at home.

we met when we were 12. lots of stuff happened to us and between us. we grew apart in high school because dumb stuff happens in high school. we talked about all those people we both knew and where they are now. we talked about our kids and their kids. we talked about ex-husbands, brother and sister-in-laws, parents-in-laws. where we have lived and worked. the conversation could have gone on all night. then she told me a very touching story about my dad.

when she was 11 her older sister died. she didn't tell me how or why, just that after that her mother couldn't live in the same house, or evidently even the same state, so they moved from Pennsylvania to California in an old car pulling a small trailer. her, her mom and dad and little sister. her parents didn't know where they would live or work, they just knew they wanted to be in California. as they rolled into Vista (my home town) one foggy night, they ran out of gas next to my dad's gas station. her dad asked my dad if he knew where they might park their trailer until they found jobs and could afford to move to a trailer park. my dad let them park behind his gas station until they found jobs. she said they were only there a few days, but her dad never forgot that kindness. i teared up. i guess i shouldn't be surprised that she hadn't told me that story before, kids never want to admit to being poor or different. even though we were close for many years and she spent time at our house, she had never mentioned it, and pop probably didn't realize she was the same kid whose family he had befriended that foggy night.

i'm hoping we can get together soon and share more stories. she was a great friend. we've missed each other. strange how we sometimes just let things go. we shouldn't.

PotY2008 BB and Great Grandpa Bergman

2009-01-29T19:59:00.001-05:00

BB greets his Great Grandpa in California for GG's 90th birthday in October '08

Winter sunset on the Potomac 1/27/09

2009-01-29T19:41:00.001-05:00

MofM and I were totally taken by the sunset last night! After days of dark, dreary skies, snow, and ice, the sun suddenly came out at 5:30 p.m. Was almost as great as a sunset on the Pacific, but not quite...

PotD2 - my little sweetieman...BB

2009-01-28T18:16:00.000-05:00

PotD - my little sweetieman...BB

2009-01-28T18:13:00.000-05:00

Who's your daddy? the continuing saga update

2009-01-22T12:21:00.005-05:00

omg!

I just got off the phone with Jane. As she was struggling to figure this whole thing out, she decided to call one of her cousins whose mother (Jane's mother's sister) is still alive. She asked her cousin to call her mother and ask her what she knows. Turns out that Jane's mother had told 'all' to this sister, and also her other sisters....and the 'all' turns out to be much more than what she thought was her half-brother knew, or at least was willing to tell Jane....her 'half-brother', it turns out, is her 'whole-brother'. Jane's mother had also carried HIM!

The couple Jane's supposed father and real mother had befriended were also having trouble conceiving, but it was the woman who had the problem. Between them they somehow decided that Jane's mother would have a second child with the neighbor immediately after Jane, and give this child to them....aye, yi yi!

Jane is now in the process of finding out if her 'brother' knows all of this as well....

PotD ....a cold, clammy place ....Alcatraz

2009-01-21T19:48:00.001-05:00

Who's your daddy?

2009-01-21T15:47:00.003-05:00

Here’s a story that’ll make ya think…

I’m watching one of my favorite TV shows the other night and I get a call that comes up PRIVATE on my caller ID. This could have been my best friend from Littlehood (we’ll call her Jane) or it could be the gorgeous a-hole with whom I was idiot enough to live 15 years ago, and no longer wish to have any contact with. I hesitate to answer, mainly because of the TV show, but pick it up before it goes to voicemail out of guilt.

It’s my best friend from Littlehood, Jane. She sounds a little ‘off’. Suddenly she starts bawling like a baby! I have known this girl (we’re still ‘girls’ in my head) since we were 9 years old. We were neighbors. By the time we were in our early teens she was hiding at my house half the time because her parents were assholes. Her mother was wimpy and mean, and her dad was a religious zealot. You get the picture. She has a sister, 10 years older, and even when we were little, she seemed 100 years old. In essence, it wasn’t like having a sister, just another weird, wimpy, and mean mother. My dad (Pop) loved my friend. We entertained Pop by dancing to ‘Tequila’ and putting on stupid little plays for him. By the time we were teenagers her parents hated me for no apparent reason, except that Jane liked me, and I was fun to be around. When Jane would disappear and end up at our house, Pop always covered for her. Probably a dumb thing to do, but she never stayed late, and I have no idea WHAT she told her parents.

So she’s crying so hard I can hardly understand her. Finally she slows down and tells me she has just found out that her father wasn’t her father. The funny thing here (funny weird, not funny ha ha) is the weekend before, Jane and I had been on the phone for 90 minutes and one of the MANY things we talked about AGAIN (having discussed this before at intervals) was how she must have been adopted because she has never looked like either her father or her mother (both, by the way, are now deceased). I told her I thought she looked KINDA like her mother, who at least had darker skin than her father who was a pasty white with freckles. Jane is dark enough to be half Mexican or Italian and the only one of us who was ever able to get a great tan in summer! Well, guess she was KINDA right about the adoption part.

Turns out that after having Jane’s sister her parents could not conceive another child and somehow determined it was dad that was faulty in that regard. During this period of time they lived in the outskirts of San Diego where they had some very nice neighbors. They became (quite evidently) extremely good friends with these folks. Somewhere along the line, they all decided that Jane’s mom could sleep with this handy neighbor and quite possibly conceive a second child, and she did. Jane. This would not be quite the shock if Jane’s father hadn’t been a religious zealot, but then perhaps he became a religious zealot after this occurred….who knows. Two years later, the extremely good neighbors had a son.

After the birth of the neighbor’s son, Jane’s parents decided it might be a good idea to move away from these wonderful and extremely helpful folks. They kept in touch for a few years but then the close ties faded. Imagine that?

Jane’s mom died of cancer in 1992, in Jane’s house. Yes, Jane cared for her until her dying day. Jane’s dad moved to Arkansas after that, but returned to Jane’s for a grandson’s wedding in 1998. He died of a massive stroke in Jane’s dining room the morning of the wedding. They must have hoped that Jane would never discover their little secret.

Jane’s half-brother called her last weekend. He had been searching for her since his mother died in 1994 at the age of 93. At her deathbed, she had revealed the long-held secret to her only son.

When Jane finally stopped crying, and we talked for an hour, she realized this was a blessing in disguise. She has a brother, and a whole new set of nieces and nephews, etc. She’d always wanted a brother. We compared pictures of them and it is uncanny how much they look alike. I think now she’s crying for happy, not shock.

My guess is that stuff like this has always gone on. It’s likely rare it gets discovered.

PsotD Obama, Obama, Obama

2009-01-20T18:00:00.005-05:00

I decided not to go to the Inauguration today because unless you had a ticket you ended up in the Potomac, or nearly. So....I took pictures on my TV, which if I had HD may have been a bit clearer... and I did want to see all of the goings on. Also, you had to choose between the parade or the Inauguration Address...clearly, I wanted to see both!

This pic is of our new Pres giving his Inaugural Address, with his normal awesome mix of words.

Next, the Bushes (?) leave Washington, and the Obamas send them off. (I'm not saying it was happily, but I would bet it was CLOSE to happily!)

Last, but certainly not least, the signing of agreements to prove that Obama is President, immediately following his inauguration......

PotD

2009-01-19T18:30:00.000-05:00

The giant Boston Head (yes, he is a Boston, dag nab it!) with his favorite pals, BS and Teddy

A Capital day, Inauguration Eve....

2009-01-19T16:29:00.002-05:00

I decided to walk up to the mall today. I gave some thought to joining the masses tomorrow for the actual Inauguration, but after being there today with 10s of thousands of people already milling about, there is really no way I would go tomorrow....I'll watch it from the comfort of my couch. I might have been on MSNBC, I was one of the many standing there like an idiot, waving to the camera as it swept about the crowd...ehehehe Good times.

More on the FB

2009-01-19T16:18:00.003-05:00

Okay, so suffice it to say the FB got her due. Oh, she had Gorton for a time, and made my life absolutely miserable. There are many stories I could tell but I’ll spare you the unpleasantness. By the time she realized he was pretty slovenly and not nearly as wealthy as he had once been or at least she thought he had been, she became the miserable one.

For a time they lived in her nice house just above the slums, but by the time her divorce was final, and her house was sold, they had to move into (oh, my god) a TRAILER…not that there’s anything wrong with trailers.

Meanwhile, I pulled the old ‘frying pan into the fire’ stupidity by hooking up with Mr. Gorgeous; sold my house to a con artist; moved in with Mr. Gorgeous, dragging MoFM along, totally screwing up her life AND mine. Not much thinking went on during that whole period of time which was approximately 2 years. I think.

A few months before MoFM and I headed off to DC, Gorton left CA and moved to a farm in KS his Great Aunt had left him. FB was supposed to accompany him. Evidently she did originally (and I didn’t hear this from her) but she didn’t like it in KS and people in KS didn’t like her, so she returned to CA. On MoFM’s and my journey (Thelma and Louise) to DC, we stopped in KS (see how stupid I am??) to see Gorton. He was very happy to see MoFM and was quite cordial. He filled our Ryder truck with farm fuel, let us sleep there, fed us, and we were on our way the following morning. It was very strange. Let’s face it, the whole story is strange.

RE: More From MoFM's Storied Past

2009-01-12T17:53:00.005-05:00

In case you are wondering how I could have put MoFM through all the shit we went through, I will attempt to give you some insight into the reality of all that transpired.

I lost my ever-lovin’ mind when the separation took place. (see Do you know what you’d do?) The fat bitch that caused all the turmoil was a ‘friend’. We had known her for 20 years. I met her when I worked at a local bank and she and I were both pregnant with sons. Over the years she kept appearing it seemed, from out of nowhere. A few years after I’d left the bank job I went to City Hall for some reason, and there she was behind the counter. A few years later and after we’d started our construction business I found her behind the counter at the Camp Pendleton contract office. I would run into her at our kid’s soccer games.

As Gorton’s alcoholism got worse and worse, he was spending less time at home, and when he was home he was a total embarrassment to the kids. I asked him to get help. He refused. He started spending the night at our office. I have to admit it was peaceful without him. Being a Veteran he could have received all the help he needed. That didn’t happen. Instead, he moved in with one of our employees and his family. I reckon I just kept hoping he’d miss us enough to get help and come home. Meanwhile, the business was going down the tubes. Entities we’d worked for over the years wouldn’t even allow him to bid jobs. A couple of years prior to all of this, business had gone downhill enough that I decided to get a real estate license to help the cause. At first I made some pretty cool sales. I was in my car most of the day, everyday. My pager was going off day and night. The kids loved it because I had a computer. That's another whole story.

As I drove around North San Diego County I would continuously see Gorton in strange places. As far as I knew, we didn’t have any jobs locally, but naïve as I was (am) I didn’t give it much thought.

One evening I got a phone call from a soccer player-friend on my team. She says ‘what was Gorton doing with ‘fat bitch’ at her son’s baseball game in San Diego?’. I was surprised, and explained that maybe he’d run into her down there somewhere, and she said ‘come watch the game’ and that there was likely nothing to it. I know, naïve may not be the word.

Then my car was stolen. (not the best years of my life) I loved that car. It had all my real estate stuff in it. I had to find it. The cops immediately found my son’s backpack, which had been in the trunk of my car, in front of a dumpster at an apartment complex nearby. The next day I took our Chevy Blazer out on the hunt for my car. I was determined to find it, and I did, in the same apartment complex. I pulled up behind it, saw a kid walking up to it with my keys in his hand and chased the bastard. I couldn’t catch him, so I called the cops, then I called our office to let Gorton know I’d found the car and asked him to bring me the extra keys. He wasn’t there, but our secretary said she’d track him down. The cops thought I was in on the heist because I found the car and they hadn’t. Unbelievable BS. They took my statement and left. I was there for another hour before Gorton arrived with my keys. I parked the Blazer and began the drive out of the complex. You’re not going to believe this next line. The fat bitch was standing on a corner inside the complex. Surprised to see her there, I said ‘what are you doing here?’ to which she replied, ‘showing a client an apartment, I see you found your car’…to which I replied something happy, but I have no idea what. I was just glad to have my car back.

Since ReMax was an expensive place to be a realtor I decided to go with a locally owned shop, with lower overhead. The first day I’m on the job at this company, I realize the fat bitch is a realtor in this office. Unbelievable. We become ‘lunch buddies’ and ‘caravan buddies’ and talk about all kinds of shit. She convinces me to move my desk into a double office that has opened up. Our desks face each other. She is constantly asking me about Gorton, and if he’s getting help and how he’s doing, and on and on. She tells me all about her rotten marriage, and that she’s getting divorced, yada, yada, yada. All the time I’m thinking, I do not want to go through that, I just want things to be good again. Of course at this point I have no idea that something is going on between her and Gorton. Nor do I to this day have any idea what year it may have actually begun.

Early on a Friday afternoon, it was St. Patrick's Day, I get a call from Gorton. He says he has to go to China Lake to do some finish painting over the weekend. Not an hour later, fat bitch shows up late for a lunch date we had. She said she'd been visiting a sick Aunt. (I know, how naive can one person be?) I asked her if she still wanted to go to lunch, to which she replied 'no, I have to go home and pack (one of her kids) for a soccer tournament up north.'
Okay, so this got me thinking about the last few months of odd things going on. Seeing Gorton in odd places, and suddenly realized it was sometimes near where I thought fat bitch lived, other times near hotels. The phone call from my friend.

It was pouring rain that day and I was to pick MoFM from school. I drove to the school, and asked one of her friends to take her home. I drove straight to our office to see if Gorton was still there. He wasn't. I went up to his office. Sat down at his desk and opened a drawer. Holy SHIT. There, piled high in the drawer were cards and letters from the fat bitch. Love, love, love. I was devastated. I made copies of all of them.

~ This is when I should have immediately gone to a lawyer. California is a no-fault divorce state, but by God, when you come up with evidence like I had, you have a pretty good case for a few years of alimony. I probably could have even sued the fat bitch. (I believe in North Carolina or one of those states, if you can prove infidelity, you CAN sue the bitch) ~

I wrote Gorton a simple little note and left it on his desk. Placed all the gushy love letters and cards back in the drawer, and left. I don't remember much after that. I know Gorton called me Sunday night when he returned. All he said is 'I'm sorry you had to find out that way.' I said 'gee, how did you WANT me to find out?'. This was simply the beginning of the end.

to be continued......

life during the holidays....

2009-01-07T09:05:00.006-05:00

The holidays were way outta whack this year. Coulda been the never-ending hype with the elections and the abrupt stop on November 4. Coulda been the economy and all the hype about how sad it is for retailers that no one was buying anything; the car industry getting paid to go on; and of course the sad, sad stories of people losing their jobs just before Christmas, and in some cases their homes. It was difficult for anyone with a conscience to think about having a 'holly-jolly' Christmas with all that negativity...at least it was for me. I do not EVER remember feeling so uncaring about the holidays. Bah, humbug. I did get a Christmas tree, first time in years. That didn't help at all.

I am fortunate to have an immediate family with none of the issues we heard about on a daily basis. None lost millions in the stock market (not quite millions, anyway); none have lost jobs or homes. And we didn't have snow and ice to contend with over the holidays.

Watching the Rose Parade from beautiful, sunny (but chilly) Pasadena, California New Year's Day was very relaxing. It was great to see the Ballou High School marching band in the parade. Seems the only publicity DC schools gets is bad, so for a local high school to make it to major parades is very refreshing.

So guess there were a couple positives. Now everything is basically back to normal. The new year has begun. All those pesky resolutions will be broken. Life will go on. And, it's great to be back at work!

Thanks giving.....

2008-11-25T12:24:00.003-05:00

I guess we can still call it Thanksgiving, but how many folks out there are really feeling thankful right now. I am so damned lucky I have a job. I am so damned lucky I have fabulous kids with the ability to apply mental or physical effort to a purpose. Or is it luck. If folks are suffering, they likely have brought it on themselves. Oh, sorry. Did I just say that?

I work in the industry of housing. I’ve kinda been in the industry since I can remember. Would I ever buy a house or anything else I couldn’t afford? No, but that’s because I know better. Who doesn’t know better? What does it take to know you can’t afford something? I have a tendency to believe a lack of common sense has played a big part in this whole housing mess. Oh, and greed. Greed might even be a bigger part. Greed from the realtor, the lender, and certainly the buyer.

Not that it matters in any way, shape, or form, but here’s what I think….

Housing has always been a great investment. Until values drop. And guess what? They drop. It’s a roulette game of sorts. If you have the money to play the game it’s one thing. If you don’t and someone comes along and tells you, ‘Hey, I have an idea. I can help you play the game by giving you something for nothing…..up front.’ Why would you listen?? Obviously you didn’t listen when that someone said, ‘and by the way, your payment will be going up because your interest rate will triple in 2 years’. This information is, of course, buried deep in the drivel you’re forced to attempt to read through AND understand when signing docs. Even if you do read it, how many understand what the drivel means? How many care? All you can think about at that point is ‘I’m going to make a fortune in 2 years when I re-sell this puppy!’ Or if you thought you understood the drivel, you may think ‘I will re-fi before my rate goes up and get a whole bunch of cash out and invest in yet another house and just keep doing that until I’m a millionaire or better!’ Right. If values continue to rise. It all seems fantastic. Until values drop.

These problems in real estate have existed for a long time. This time was different. I’ve never seen house values climb so quickly. Houses that sold in 2001 for 100k were selling in 2004 for 350k. What sense did that make? Builders were creating whole neighborhoods where houses were selling faster than they could be built. Even that isn’t unusual but this time it seemed like people were crazed to own a home. So, somewhere along this trail of crazed home buyers, ‘tricky’ financing came into play so that even those who could not afford to buy were suddenly able to. This is where greed came in. Who the hell do we blame for the greed…the buyer, thinking he’s going to make a killing in a couple years; the realtor seeing his never-ending flow of commissions; the guy who sold you the bad loan? Then there was the greedy overseas, who couldn’t wait to get their hands on America’s Mortgage Backed Securities (MBS) and who are now wondering what the hell we’ve done to them!

America is a nation of spoiled brats. What would happen if we didn’t have potable water, a fairly decent infrastructure (much of which is failing), warmth in the winter and a/c in the summer? We want what we want, and we want it now. I reckon many Americans decided they deserved to own a home no matter what it might take. Realtors and lenders obliged. So let’s blame it on the buyers. They’re taxpayers. They’re the ones who are now going to pay to clean up the mess. Yeah, that seems fair. Except that some of us didn’t cause it. I have a feeling those same folks who are running from loans they couldn’t afford in the first place are the folks who will somehow get out of paying taxes.

Pop's 90th Birthday 10/30/2008

2008-10-29T18:04:00.001-04:00

For Pop's 90th, me and my three fantastic kids and MOFM's BB traveled to sunny Southern Cal....was a great day for my Pop! Top pic is a cousin . (I have a crazy female cousin who thought this cousin should marry HER even if they were first cousins...she even named her son after him...like I said, she's crazy.)

Next is one of my nieces. She's always been the beautiful cousin and that really hasn't changed. She has 3 kids, two by this husband, and 1 by the first husband. She also took on husband #2's 5 kids... they have a great life in

NoCal with lots of land and stuff....

Next is me and my brothers with Pop. It was kinda tough this year, as we had my sis' funeral this time last year...

Then there's a big chunk of the family....a few didn't make it into this picture for some crazy reason...probably eating!

A great time was had by all....the next day was Disneyland for MOFM, BB, and TL and Bro...

driving defensively....

2008-08-26T18:43:00.005-04:00

i'm extremely cautious at intersections even though i do slide through some that are 'easy', meaning i am able to see in all directions if it is indeed safe to slide through (and there isn't a cop nearby). this particular intersection, being an odd intersection as there is a stop sign 1/2 block from this 4-way stop intersection, is generally one i don't slide through, which may be the reason i'm alive right now.

i'm sitting in this intersection today, this intersection that i make a left turn from nearly every Monday through Friday of each and every week, on my way home. i look left, look right, and for some reason take my time to look left again, then just as i am deciding to pull out a red SUV runs the stop sign to my left going a minimum of 30-35 mph which seemed nearly like a flash...but i saw the driver LOOKING DOWN as she flew through the intersection, totally unaware she had just run a stop sign. it took me a few seconds to realize how closely i had come to dying! had i pulled out, had she hit me, it would have been smack in the left driver's door. dead meat.

it wasn't my time. i wouldn't have known, had it been.

life is short. live like there's no tomorrow.....

California trip

2008-07-27T09:50:00.001-04:00

Golden Gate from Golden Gate Park

Old Army barracks, now a resort

California Poppy - you don't hardly see these anymore....

Golden Gate from highest point in San Francisco

California trip

2008-07-27T09:45:00.002-04:00

Finally, i'm posting a few pics from the trip up inland California.

First is Jack standing next to one of the 'Tofu Castles' at Mono Lake

The Bristlecone Pines...4000 year old trees...oldest known in the world

Mount Whitney

AJ, Jack & Robert's Boston Terror

There are so many other great pics...

2008-07-27T09:39:00.000-04:00

Company picnics....

2008-07-25T19:40:00.002-04:00

these are the cool people i work with....if you indeed recognize any of them, don't tell them i posted their pictures on my blog....not that they'd care. in these pics at least, they're not doing anything illegal! hahahaha

hope y'all are having a fine summer! i still do need to post pics from my trip up the California mountains! so bad, so bad! bet i'll do this blogging stuff alot more in the dead of winter!

company picnic - woohoo

2008-07-25T19:37:00.000-04:00

highways and byways.....

2008-06-18T11:48:00.003-04:00

This is the tenth day of my travels...and i totally enjoyed every minute! Must be the fact that deep-down inside somewhere, i would really rather be doing this than sitting in my cube every weekday!

I started this particular vacation on Sunday, June 8, in Cabo with my brother and sis inlaw...they're way cool. Well, at least my bro is way cool. I was in Cabo with them from day one to day 5. Sis inlaw starts to work my last nerve at about day 2. I've been vacationing with them since 2001 when they hauled me off to the Bahamas with them. That was one of the funnest trips EVER. From 2001 on, we've been going somewhere every year, mostly to Cabo. Likely the most memorable Cabo trip to date is when my whole entire family joined us there. MOFM was in her 8th month with BS at the time. We have great pics from that trip, some of which i will share when i get home, along with some from this year's journey.

Right now, Wednesday, June 18, i'm sitting in my son's living room writing this on his partner's laptop.

Jack, my interesting son, picked me up at San Diego airport on Friday, June 13. We spent the night at my bro's (they were still in Cabo) and on Saturday we went to the wedding of the son of one of my dear friends from littlehood. Quite a gala affair! Her son is a cop in Riverside County, and he married a detective from Riverside County....a match made in heaven, i'm sure. At the end of the ceremony they played 'Bad Boy' (theme from Cops) as they walked down the aisle as mr and mrs michael smith. it was, must i say it? appropriate, and brought some heavy applause from all in attendance!

After the reception, from which we didn't depart until very late, we headed out to Desert Hot Springs, where we spent the night and visited with my Dad for Father's Day on Sunday. It was a great visit, just Jack, me and 'Pop'. We also spent an hour or so with my widowed brother inlaw. He seems to be recuperating nicely from my sister's death last October.

From Pop's we headed north, destination Sacramento, where Jack lives. Enroute is some of the most glorious scenery in the world. i'll share some of those pics, too. We spent the first night in Lone Pine, a little, tiny town between the white mountains of Nevada, and the Sierra range. From the balcony at the the little Comfort Inn we stayed in, i took some great pics of Mt Whitney. From there we got a wild hair to visit a job we had done in the 80s for the BLM, a wild horse facility in Dyer, Nevada. Brought back many memories; driving up there over Westgard Pass, flying over Owens Valley, bouncing with the winds from the heat and the winds coming over the 14,000 foot mountains! I'll be forever grateful for Jack for that little side trip. Then we headed to Mono Lake. Look that one up. Very interesting place!
Then we visited the oldest living trees in the world, the Bristlecone Pines. Awesome!

We then had a decision to make; head directly for Sacramento or go to South Lake Tahoe or Reno for the night....we headed to Sac. Jack missed his little Boston Terrier, AJ.

So, here we are. We arrived here Monday night, had dinner with RH (partner), and Erica, a friend of RH's. Yesterday RH took the day off and we went to movies....yes, 2 of them. Indiana Jones and Narnia....both were really, really good.
RH made dinner, and we had a Family Guy marathon, and watched some Daily Shows they had on their Tevo...

Today Jack and I are having lunch with his cousin (his father's sister's daughter) and tonight RH is making dinner of some yummy roast he's been cooking all day today!

So....more when i return to civilization and reality! ARGH!! The only real saving grace is i'll be able to see BS, BB, and of course, MOFM. I tell ya, if it wasn't for them, i could easily live a life of waunderlust!

the iPod Shuffle....shuffle

2008-05-24T11:06:00.002-04:00

So, all I have to I do is mention what I would like as a gift for any mommy-related holiday, and somehow my kids come up with it....sometimes it's tempting to say, 'okay, this year for ...... day, i'd like a trip to Tahiti'. I know, dream on...

This year, with mother’s day approaching, my eldest child asked me what I would like. In passing, I said I was going to attempt to quit smoking by training for a 1/2 marathon. Certainly if I'm running I won't want to smoke! In theory! So, in order for me to ENJOY running, eldest daughter decides an iPod would be the ticket to shoving me out the door. I totally rock out to music! It's quite ridiculous. Of course, it has to be the right music, and what better way to get the 'right' music in my head, than an iPod filled with my favorite tunes!

Now, I'm not totally technology savvy, but I'm not an idiot about it, either. As soon as I rec'd my iPod Shuffle I set out to 'tune it up', so to speak. OMG! Evidently Apple doesn't do things the same way a PC does....in other words, it's not user friendly if you're used to a PC. I finally figured out how to buy some tunes...3…and then I couldn't figure out how I had done it to do it again! Don't know what's up with that. I then decided to try to download some CDs. Okay then! I stuck the CD in the drive and the tunes came up on the screen. I could figure out how to ‘play’ them so I would know which songs to choose. Figured out how to choose the songs, but now how do I get them over to my iPod! No direction for this! So, I decided to (this is not like me at all) read HELP. (I know, what a concept, eh?) HELP told me to ‘drag the songs to my ‘device’ and they would be moved the iPod. EUREKA!! Okay, so sometimes the ‘device’ doesn’t show up in the left-hand column. I have no idea why it doesn’t. It just doesn’t!

On my iPod I now have a few of my favorite tunes that I totally rock out to. Has the ½ marathon training/running began? Nah….I have no idea whether it’s because I’m lazy, like to smoke and am afraid I’d have to quit to run, or maybe the right tune just isn’t on there yet. I am, however, getting some fairly decent exercise just rocking out around my apartment while vacuuming, dusting, or sitting on my balcony soaking up the sun!

ya like Obama? check out this video.....

2008-05-14T19:59:00.001-04:00

http://www.moveon.org/r?r=3651&id=12647-5806061-R1TbCk&t=7

Happy Mother's Day, blogland!

2008-05-11T14:31:00.002-04:00

y'all who come to my blog are awesome mothers. i know that because generally you come to my blog from MOFM's blog. y'all share the same symptoms of getting through motherhood at what seems like a snail's pace. no matter how many times you hear 'oh, enjoy these years, they fly by so quickly' you won't believe it until it happens. admittedly, however, once they're gone? WOOHOO!!

love and hugs to all you Mommy bloggers.

i've said it before....

2008-05-07T15:25:00.002-04:00

i've discovered that when you really like the person you work for you can, when necessary, pull stuff out of your ass! currently in my job, we're in the middle of spending hours determining what vendors to use for what processes....my fabulous boss called me from his office today during a meeting with some clients and asked me for 'the name of the guy that was here with what's her name'....it flew out of of somewhere, i can only imagine it came from the depths...'oh, you mean Don ......?' 'yes, that's him'. he hung up the phone after thanking me profusely...and going on to tell the clients how wonderful i am....i could hear him through the door....

there are days when working really feels good.

Cinco de Mayo

2008-05-05T11:08:00.002-04:00

The 5th of May is not Mexican Independence Day, but it should be! And Cinco de Mayo is not an American holiday, but it should be. Mexico declared its independence from mother Spain on midnight, the 15th of September, 1810. And it took 11 years before the first Spanish soldiers were told and forced to leave Mexico.

So, why Cinco de Mayo? And why should Americans savor this day as well? Because 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City on the morning of May 5, 1862.

When the battle was over, many French were killed or wounded and their cavalry was being chased by Diaz' superb horsemen miles away. The Mexicans had won a great victory that kept Napoleon III from supplying the confederate rebels for another year, allowing the United States to build the greatest army the world had ever seen. This grand army smashed the Confederates at Gettysburg just 14 months after the battle of Puebla, essentially ending the Civil War.

No wonder we have so many Mexican immigrants...we owe them...don't we?

tagged again....

2008-05-04T17:22:00.003-04:00

this time by MOFM...via WDIAMA's request to her....

WHAT WAS I DOING 10 YEARS AGO? acting as though i was 30 instead of 50, having gone through a very recent, very devastating flight from what i'd known for the previous 50 years of my life. dating younger guys, some with kids....having an absolute blast hangin' out with my daughter doing whatever....which still happens, only under entirely different circumstances.

5 things on my "to do" list today: since it's Sunday, the 5 things are/were - laundry, shopping, bike ride, dog walk, dinner with great gay guy friend. all of which have been accomplished except dinner.

Snacks I enjoy: chocolate, chocolate, and chocolate...it can be ice cream (Dove, Unconditional Chocolate); chocolate chip cookies (homemade); truffles; dark chocolate anything; chips and salsa or guac.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire: pay off all my kid's mortgages, if they didn't like where they were living, buy them their dream homes; find out from the government (?) where the poorest places in the US are, and make sure they had food and shelter year-round; buy an airplane; put my ex up in a great townhouse near his grandkids; buy a house in La Jolla, a house in Potomac; and a house in Tahiti.

5 places I have lived: Vista, CA; San Diego, CA; Rockville, MD; DC....that's it.

5 bad habits: smoking, drinking, eating Unconditional Chocolate ice cream, not wearing a helmet when i bike, saying fuck when i shouldn't....hahahaha

5 jobs: car hop at A&W in college; co-owner of construction company, medical records release; mens shoes sales at Macy's; Exec Assistant.

so...there ya go. underlying all that is a very exciting person! trust me!

Tagged...7 random things - yikes...thanks, WM

2008-04-26T17:24:00.003-04:00

sorry i've been so quiet. guess i could lay it on work, or being tired when i get home, or trying to stay away from blogging long enough to finish reading a book i started weeks ago...this blogging stuff can become very habitual.

so here goes...7 random things about me (you may be sorry you tagged me)

1. i absolutely hate my skin at this age. it's not my face, 'cause i kinda expected it to get craggy and stuff...but it's the rest of the body that disgusts me! the saggy arms, the 36-long boobs, the brown age spots, and worst of all...the belly. always had trouble controlling the belly after kids, but this is ridiculous! 'course, if i'd get off my ass and do some walking/running/more bike-riding, it might help.

2. i was never racist until i lived in dc for 13 years. there's an attitude here that i never saw in California. i always thought african americans were intriguing because i really didn't know many. having worked with them the last 8 years has been a real eye-opener. i doubt there are many other places in the US where their attitude is so bad. seems they truly believe they're owed something!

3. i'm a glutten when it comes to potatoes. mostly mashed, but baked are a close second. guess i could be called a 'potato woman', as opposed to a 'meat & potato man'.

4. i generally thank God on a daily basis for stuff...for feeling good, for not hitting a pedestrian that darts out in front of me (happens a lot downtown), for not hitting the asshole who pulled out in front of me (generally a cab), for beautiful weather, gorgeous sunsets, spring...the list goes on.

5. i would like to date, but men my age are too old. it's funny that women younger than me date men my age...yuk! it would be difficult to date because i wouldn't want to lose any chance of my ex not giving me my due when he dies! not that he'd give a shit that i dated, but just that he's vengeful enough to make sure i wouldn't get his retirement or SS, even if i just dated. trust me, he'd find a way to cut me out.

6. i got 5 tickets from one cop in one stop. i beat all 5 in court, representing myself. the cop was a total dick! the judge must have known that. the judge was a woman.

7. i wish i had finished college, and gone on to become a lawyer. i would have only represented women scorned by their asshole husbands. i'd have been wealthy!

Secretary/Adiminstrative Assistant week!

2008-04-25T15:58:00.003-04:00

This, i know, is a gross picture! Much as i'm sure it's not real, it's how i feel when seven people at the same time are asking to do something for them!

yep, fell into this job 8 years ago.... it's okay, it certainly pays well, and has great benes..and who cares, really, about anything else in this world...okay, 'cept for my kids, my dog...stuff like that...without which i wouldn't care if i had money or not, right?

so to any of you women out there who FEEL like somebody's secretary/admin, here's to you, too.

new president? who gives a rat's ass, anyway??

2008-04-25T08:09:00.004-04:00

Alright- i have absolutely had it with politics! with the country in the state it is currently in, who the hell could help us, anyway? i hate that so many companies are outsourcing to india, china, vietnam, who knows where else! why is it these giant coporations think cheaper talent is so much better elsewhere, and why the hell do they have to save so much damn money when they can still afford to pay their CEOs and ALL their executives millions?? and the immigration problems...and health care, and our school systems where if teachers were paid a decent wage there would be more teachers of quality out there! i realize this is a rant....but dag nab it, i'm sick of no one being able to do anything about any of it. is it that there are just too many people with too many issues in America anymore? we are totally out of control!

i'm not extremely religious but if 'they' (whomever 'they' are) are even thinkin' of takin' 'in God we trust' out of our history, and 'under God' out of our pledge, something is radically wrong with us as a country. shit like that just shouldn't happen. our forefathers thought it important and by golly, most of what they did was right. we didn't rise up to become the most plentiful nation in the world because our forefathers made mistakes!

can i say this? nah....shouldn't...but gonna...HOW THE HELL DID BUSH EVER GET ELECTED A SECOND TIME, AND HOW THE HELL HAS HE SURVIVED!! does that sound threatening? will i be called a terrorist? yikes.

This beautiful city!

2008-04-18T18:51:00.002-04:00

i got this wild hair to post some pics of my current fave city. i say current because up until maybe 2003 or so i still longed for my first favorite city, San Diego. but now, having been here 13 years, if it wasn't for spring, summer, and early fall in DC, the longing would still be there. there's something about going through four months of drabness, cold air, and bad driving conditions that make the other eight months absolutely amazing!

Grandson's First Flag Football game!

2008-04-15T12:41:00.006-04:00

whilst MOFM was off to Boston, carousing about with her friends under the guise of participating in a baby shower (although i'm sure at least 3 or 4 hours were spent having a baby shower), i took it upon myself to join Notso Matter of Fact Daddy in taking BB to his first flag football game! what excitement, eh? the other grandma had BS duty.

we arrived at the field a little early, even after stopping for football shoes, a mouth guard, and pizza. there were a million kids there! okay, maybe hundreds. in one corner of the field was a moon bounce which, of course, attracted more kids than the coaches trying to gather their teams!

first pic - BB attempting to insert mouth guard into mouth...no easy task...made him gag! in this pic, he looks EXACTLY like MOFM! hahahaha

practice began, and for a half an hour or so the coaches attempted to teach the kids how to pull the 'flags' off of the kid carrying the football, and the kid carrying the football how to avoid the kids chasing them for the flags. keep in mind these kids were 4-6 years old and the attention spans were pretty short. i think one kid on each team 'got it'. after the practice the referee arrived ready to start the game. by now however, most of the kids were really ready to head for the moon bounce.

the ref started the game, the ball was hiked to a kid, and off they went....literally, in all directions. very cute. BB didn't get a chance to carry the ball until the second half, which was with a different team than the first half. he was hiked the ball...stood there for a minute until somebody screamed at him to run with the ball...he ran 20 feet, (number 9 in the pic) a good darn run, then lost his flag. good job! high fives all around. 10 minutes later the second half was over and every single kid on every single team headed straight for the moon bounce.

after a half hour at the moon bounce, BB decided he was hungry, having not eaten but a couple bites of his pizza. NMOFD refused to let him have a hotdog at the field and told him he could eat when he got home. go figure. anyway, he screamed most of the way home, with NMOFD telling him 'i will put you out of the car in that forest over there, which doesn't look too comfortable', if he didn't quit screaming. evidently that scared him. he finally said 'i want a peanut butter & jelly when i get home'...NMOFD won that one...kinda, i guess...

BB's neck was sunburned, NMOFD's head was sunburned, i didn't even get pink! according to my ex my skin is done...finished...unable to attract even UV light! nice, eh?

State of Play

2008-04-03T19:51:00.004-04:00

So...the big night was last night. There were at least 250-300 people working on the 'set' (we were the set). It was very exciting stuff! Ben Affleck was not, however, friendly. That was a major disappointment. Everyone else was great. By the way, Ben is only 5'9", if that. Another major disappointment!

Dog owners used their dogs as excuses to see 'what was happening'. I think every dog owner in the neighborhood was hanging around our building for their dog's evening constitutional. It was cool, though. I certainly used Mr Pimms to cruise the area!

Filming began at 6 p.m. on our 2nd floor. There were a few scenes taken in our lobby. Sometime in the middle of the night with GIANT flood lights lighting our water garden, they filmed more scenes. Had to go to sleep, so missed all of that.

Today when I got home you would never have known they'd been here. It was amazing!

i love DC!!

2008-03-28T18:58:00.003-04:00

i live in southwest DC. now, who on earth would think that a movie would be filmed in my building! a Russell Crowe movie no less...an academy award-winning Russell Crowe!
it took me nearly a year and a half to find this building when i decided i wanted to live in DC near the Potomac. no one, even if they'd lived in the 'metro area', which, by the way, includes northern virginia and it seems, all of maryland, knew where the hell southwest washington was! but when i found it, it didn't take me long to realize; 'YES, this is IT!!' i had read a story in the washington post one saturday describing the area. being from san diego, it seemed perfect.
so, some movie company is filming right here in my ever-loving building! how exciting is THAT??
anyway, i just had to share my excitement. i'll share the name of the movie when it's released. and you know how long THAT can take.

one of my boss' favorite stories....42

2008-03-24T14:49:00.005-04:00

Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Redirected from The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything

The 42 Puzzle, as it appeared in The Illustrated Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything has a numeric solution in Douglas Adams' series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In the story, a "simple answer" to The Ultimate Question is requested from the computer Deep Thought—specially built for this purpose. It takes Deep Thought 7½ million years to compute and check the answer which turns out to be 42. Unfortunately, The Ultimate Question itself is unknown - suggesting on an allegorical level that it is more important to ask the right questions than to seek definite answers.
When asked to produce The Ultimate Question, the computer says that it can't, but can help design an even more powerful computer (the Earth) which can. The programmers then embark on a further, ultimately futile, ten million year program to discover The Ultimate Question, a process that is hindered after eight million years by the unexpected arrival on Earth of the Golgafrinchans, and then ruined completely, five minutes before completion, when the Earth is destroyed by the Vogons.

The author was presented with many readers' theories about The Ultimate Question and The Ultimate Answer in his lifetime, all of which he rebutted with his own somewhat apocryphal explanations.

or, in the words of my boss...'Eet ees what eet ees'.

smells.....

2008-03-24T13:29:00.001-04:00

Some people just do not realize when they don’t bathe and instead pour on some kind of fragrance it just makes them really, really stinky. It’s bad enough to encounter these people in a public place like the mall or maybe a restaurant that isn’t guarded by someone who may not allow a stinky person inside….but when they’re encountered in the elevator or cafeteria at work? OMG!

Then there’s the lunch hour smells….there’s much ethnicity where I work. Nice people, but oh the smells. Makes me want to ask the powers that be to ban microwaves so there is nowhere to heat this stuff up!

Smelly cars should be banned. I thought the reason we had cars tested for emissions was to keep them from bellowing heavy, toxic gases or, by golly, emissions! It’s really disgusting to be behind a car puffing out gray stuff! Ugh!

Perfume sprayers...…the ones who spray themselves when they come in to work, and just before they leave. Come on, do it in your car, or before you leave home or when you get home! Some of those ‘fragrances’ have to be worse for us than cigarette smoke! I worked with a woman who died from toxic fragrance smell. She would get horrible headaches when she had patients who wore too much perfume. One day she simply keeled over and died. Cause of death? Brain aneurism caused by allergy to heavy perfume! I’ve NEVER heard of anyone dying instantly from cigarette smoke!

Smell-affected people unite!

Obama & the preacher-man debacle

2008-03-20T07:33:00.004-04:00

i have been a fan of Obama since he spoke at the democratic convention in '04! i didn't notice he was black then...and guess WHAT? he is just as much WHITE as he is BLACK! i don't get it. are people really so racist? what makes a difference if he's half jewish, half swedish, half african?? granted, there's that whole slavery issue, none of which his family was a party to, nor were many other african-american families in this country! get a grip, a-holes!

OMG...i was raised southern baptist. i 'know' these preacher/pastor guys! they just say things! i went to 'church camp' every summer until i was 15. southern baptist preachers (SBPs) are the biggest racists out there whether their skin is black or white. i was told i would go to hell if i didn't stop hangin' around with catholics. SBPs seem to have their own spin on the bible.

for Obama to have to justify knowing and respecting this guy for 20 years is ludicrous! he went to church, got religion, the guy was his pastor...i doubt the last 20 years this preacher-man has yelled constantly about race and this damnable america. and hasn't someone you've respected said stuff you haven't agreed with? come on!

i swear, if it wasn't for the media takin' this crap on like it's a sequel to some major movie drama and youtube didn't exist would this be important? an issue? known about? do ya reckon hillary's 'team' put them up to it?

i say the whole preacher/pastor debacle isn't gonna hurt Obama at all...people have got to be smarter than that! don't they?

dog lover's nightmare

2008-03-17T08:14:00.003-04:00

i have what my daughter calls a boston terrier/chihuahua mix. in reality he is a registered boston terrier with traits dating back before breeders started making their noses extremely flat; he's brindle, which is rather rare and he has an actual nose. he does, however, have rather large ears; this would be the reason my daughter swears he is at least 1/4 chihuahua...not that there's anything wrong with that.

mr pimms is 5 1/2 years old. i got him when he was 3 months. at 5 months i took him to pet smart for puppy training. i particularly wanted him to get along with other dogs so i could take him to the dog park. he wasn't afraid to take on anything that approached him. a huge bearded collie that must have weighed 100 pounds but was the same age as mr pimms became his best friend. they ripped around the dog park, bashing into trees (sometimes people), causing the other dogs join in. mr pimms is a legend at the dog park now for having been 'the one' to train the other dogs how to play.

all of that fun came to a screeching halt a few months ago with the addition of two dogs owned by a cop. a lady cop. having never owned a dog before, she was clueless about these large dogs she had adopted, a big male and a fairly large female, both shepherd mixes. the male, Ike, was pretty aggressive. he hated mr pimms. keeping in mind that she's a cop and knows there's a leash law in DC, she would let them both off leash a block from the dog park and they would come running from out of nowhere. that was the end of our daily trip to the dog park for a few months. there were many complaints about these dogs. Ike had attacked a small furry white dog, nearly killing it; he had chased numerous cats; had attacked many dogs at the dog park, including mr pimms. the owners in the building in which the cop lady lives had let her know that she or the dogs would have to go. before the powers that be had a chance to have a hearing about what to do, copy lady had Ike put down, and gave away the female. what a tragedy! Ike was a beautiful dog. he would have been a great dog for someone with a yard. common sense did not enter into this picture. the only positive here is i can take mr pimms back to the dog park without the fear of him being attacked. a fear that never would have had to be there in the first place.

leaving the mansion....

2008-03-13T12:14:00.002-04:00

All this bs about the governor of ny…what the hell. I am amazed that people react to the stupid stuff men do! Face it people, they’re animals. They do what comes naturally. It’s always been that way. We shouldn’t be shocked by anything they do in regard to their sexual instincts, desires, or manifestations thereof!

What is pathetic is watching the wife of this current newsworthy asshole standing at the podium with him looking like a wounded puppy! She’s been ridiculed for being there, laughed at for being there, applauded for being there! Give me a break! It’s another one of those ‘what would you do?’ moments! This particular asshole has 3 teenage daughters. Daughters forgive their dads for nearly anything and everything they could possibly do. Trust me. I know this to be true! So…my guess would be that most women will forgive their spouses for just about anything. In the past women forgave because they were too afraid to be ‘out on their own with the kids’…Not so much anymore. Today some have better jobs than their spouses and are STILL afraid to lose them. In the big picture all (okay, only 99.9%) men are animals and will stray no matter what, women still think they can’t live without them!

‘We have to stay together for the kids’….’he promised he’d never do that again’….’he feels so guilty’….I think there’s something we all have to understand, here. Men will never change. We live with that, or we don’t bother with them unless absolutely necessary. (perhaps for our own sexual instincts, and stuff….)

So what should happen to this guy? Not that anything will. He is not only the governor of ny but he was born with a silver spoon (if you’re younger than dirt, you probably have no idea what that means or why people say it). It means he was born into wealth. So will he, like ‘johns’ caught on the street picking up hookers, go to jail? Nah. Will the hooker go to jail? Not likely either.

2008-03-09T15:09:00.000-04:00

Do you know what you'd do?

2008-03-09T12:17:00.004-04:00

having a child with very young children gives me pause. pause to reflect on when my children were very young. i had a fabulous, intelligent, gorgeous husband who gave me beautiful children, had a fantastic job, helped around the house (including cooking), and everyone loved him. what happens between the time the children are young, and when they start to mature, is way beyond what anyone can figure out. people change. children grow and change. shit happens. before i go further i have to say this man gave me the 'best years of my life'. he allowed me the freedom to learn to fly, and to persue nearly any other dream i might have had. him being the entrepreneurial man that he was gave us the opportunity to do and see things most young couples don't get to do and see. for the most part, the children were involved in all that we did just by being. they led stellar lives themselves. as teenagers they had vehicles, friends, and 'stuff' that most of their friends envied. amazingly, they've grown into wonderful adults. i attribute that fact to good genes, not how we raised them.

something happened in our marriage. i like to blame it simply on alcohol, but in reality the alcoholic he became was likely caused by the disease he caught while in viet nam...called post traumatic stress. the problem became obvious about 12 years into our wedded bliss. i won't go into the gory details. it was tough living like that for the following 9 years, for both of us. the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back came with the affair. i'm guessing it was his way of getting out of a bad situation; a life he couldn't quite handle.

so what would you do? i flipped out. i couldn't work for a year. i did really stupid things. i figured if he could have an affair and leave us for another woman, i could have a boyfriend, kinda like the frying pan into the fire stupidity! the boyfriend was a total loser. absolutely gorgeous, but stupid as a rock. some things just don't matter when you've lost every credible thought you've ever had. gradually i went down the road to destruction...of myself, my kids, the house we'd lived in for 17 glorious years. the hurt from the devastation was deep. i can't tell you what happened in my life over the following couple of years. i didn't do drugs. all that i went through during that time would make a lot more sense had i done drugs. i have no excuse except to say my emotions got the better of me.

why the emotions? why not see the reality, file for divorce, take the asshole for everything we'd worked so hard for for 21 years? i have no idea. it is just what happened. i lost it. i had loved this man totally for most of my adult life. him leaving us, no matter what we had to go through, was beyond my comprehension.

i read somewhere it takes 6 months for every year you were married to recover from a breakup. that's a little over 10 years in our case. that pretty much says it. it'll be 15 years on st. patricks day and i've pretty much been over it for the last 5 years or so.

leap to the present. i now see this estranged husband on nearly a weekly basis at my daughter's home. a few years ago he suffered some health problems and she convinced him to move close to her. he lives 80 miles from us, has gotten rather feeble, so he stays at her home for days at a time. this allows him to see his grandchildren. keeping in mind she was the only child left at home when the shit hit the fan and came with me when i left california for a new life, her forgiveness of her father is sometimes hard for me to fathom. i manage to be cordial to him. he's suffered more than he deserves, but sometimes i just have to attribute that to 'divine retribution'.

2008-03-09T11:30:00.000-04:00

2008-03-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

so...i'm a southern california snob

2008-03-06T19:29:00.003-05:00

born and raised in the sunbelt...not just ANY part of the sunbelt, but the california sunbelt. the land of beautiful people. i never gave that much thought until i moved to 'the other coast' and my daughter spent a few days in ocean city, maryland and relayed horror stories about the people she saw there. she was totally freaked out! i thought she was just homesick so i talked a new east coast friend into taking me there. now granted, people are people, and you can find all shapes and sizes just about anywhere. but this was different! along the boardwalk there are restaurants and small shops and at the end of the boardwalk is a ferris wheel, other rides, and those games where you throw balls and stuff and win stuffed animals...you know what i mean - people you see there are in a word, strange. not strange in the sense of the word we all know, but really, really strange. not all, certainly, but the majority. there were families of big-headed people. really! big heads. i'd never seen families with big heads. not just abnormally large heads, BIG heads. there were misshapened families...not just the mom, or just the dad..but whole families of misshapened people. it's a scary place. i'm thinkin' generations of intermarriage must play a role here. ocean city isn't the only place for this phenomenon, but probably more evident because it's a popular vacation spot, and a beach city. yikes!

i rode the metro to and from work the first year and a half i lived here. among the multitudes of strange folks on the metro there was one dude who wore a see-through plastic square on his head. yep. it was put together with duct tape. couldn't really call him a 'bubble boy'. i guess you could, but he was more like a 'box-boy'. the sad thing was, no one stared at him, he was like 'normal'.

i'm guessing the real reason i was so shocked by the 'difference' in the looks of people here is people have always moved to california for basically three reasons - jobs, weather, or to be one of the beautiful people, and growing up i didn't know that, so i presumed with the exception of a few now and then, all people looked like californians. mid-western, white-bred, blond, blue-eyed sturdy folks with maybe a little mix of somethin' else. sure there were hispanics, african americans, asians, all of that, too...but can't say that i saw too many strange lookin' folks.

maybe it's the long, cold winter. i've heard that about maine.

ya never know...

2008-03-02T10:34:00.004-05:00

so, i have this great friend, Sousan. she's from Iran (she likes to say she's Persian, it sounds more intriquing). i met her the first month on my current job, nearly 8 years ago. she's my age (oldish) but looks much younger as she has beautiful skin of which i am totally jealous! when i first met her i thought she was french because she has a really cool accent even though she's lived in the US for 40some-odd years. she speaks farsi with her family, hence the accent.

we have basically the same views on life. i was married for 21 years and have 3 kids; she has never been married but had a 7 year 'thing' with 'some guy' many years ago. she does regret never having kids but has a niece she raised from babyhood who may as well be her own daughter. her brother's wife took off when her niece was born. she also has 3 grandnephews and a grandniece, so knows what it's like to be a grandma. we share stories all the time about 'the kids', hers, and my grandson and granddaughter. they all range in age from 1 year to 4ish.

Sousan 'gets it'. it's really difficult to find people who 'get it'. you know what i mean. if you're having a conversation and say something 'off the wall', they just get what you mean.

we absolutely do not spend enough time together, but figure while we can, we need to work, save money for retirement, and play when we can. the problem with being our age and still having to work is we're too tired to play when we do have the time. sometimes we discuss women we work with who are at or near our age and plan to retire when they hit that golden number of 55 or 60 or 62 or whatever that number is for them. they're able to retire either because they had a great job they previously retired from with a tidy sum, or perhaps a spouse who will have a tidy sum at retirement. so, since neither of us had a great job we previously retired from, she never had a spouse, and my spouse turned out to be a louse, we contemplate whether or not we would be up to having a spouse or significant other to depend on for that day. we discuss this often, and generally come to the same conclusion each time; it just wouldn't be worth it.

a few years ago we talked about buying a house together, one we could literally split down the middle and each live in half. that conversation still comes up now and then. it's a do-able idea that may someday come to pass....but for now, we play when we feel like it, and work because we have to...

smile....

2008-02-24T16:53:00.003-05:00

okay, so i'm a smiler....people think i'm always happy. they tell me all the time, 'you're always SO happy. it's the way my face is made. i can't help it. i suppose that deep down, in some sort of odd way i am always happy. what the heck is there to not be happy about? i don't live in poverty thanks to excellent genes. i am built well, never had a 'fat' problem. i'm smart. i'm not ugly (with the exception of thinish hair, and age catching up). i'm alive! i'm relatively healthy for a smoker of 30 some-odd years. i have great friends, and a fabulous family. okay, so maybe i do have a real reason to be smiling, and maybe it isn't just a function of my facial muscles. the great thing about being a smiler is it makes other people smile. rarely do i pass someone who doesn't smile back. even if they're frowning when they approach me, they smile when they look into my face. i love it.

Awakening in a different location

2008-02-20T21:10:00.002-05:00

Say good-bye, my man....I'll miss you terribly when i ride my bike to Hains Point.

When i arrived in DC 13 years ago i saw a postcard of you and knew i just had to see you. It took a few years to actually find ya 'Charlie', as you're lovingly called around DC, but once i did, i went to see you often. I have taken pictures of you in the fall, the winter, the spring, and during the hottest days of summer. I always found you irresistable, no matter how many kids were climbing on your head, your hand, your foot or your arm.

Your new home will have you basking in the limelight of new surroundings, but the folks who've visited you at Hains Point over the last 28 years will sorely miss you. May your new surroundings bring you happiness and folks who will appreciate you as much as i have. Farewell, my man.

DRIVERS!!!

2008-02-20T19:36:00.002-05:00

ACHH!! I get sooooo irritated driving through the city, I am eventually going to require a new horn! My daughter keeps telling me i'm going to be shot! (that's why i stay out of southeast and northeast)

I left work at 4:15 today. I live 7 miles (not quite) from work. It took me an hour to get home. On a good day i can make the drive in 20 minutes, okay, maybe 25 minutes.

The worst are the cabbies! OMG...they turn in front of me, rarely use their blinker, slink along the road cruising for fares, talk on their cell phones (illegal in DC), change lanes without EVER looking, stop right in front of me for a fare, and just collectively irritate the living shit outta me! I drive through the 9th street tunnel every night...cabbies should be shot in there! Granted they're not the only ones in the tunnel i could kill, but they're the worst offenders for staying in the middle lane (there are 3) knowing full well they are taking either the Virginia or Maryland exits (right or left lanes, which are always backed up). But NO they STAY in the middle lane WAY down the tunnel until suddenly they decide to STOP, turn their blinker on and sit in the road waiting for some sucker to let them in! I am really shocked that there aren't daily accidents in there...there would be if this didn't happen so frequently that people EXPECT these assholes to do the same thing every single day! Now and then you get a new guy in the tunnel that doesn't know which lane to be in. Instead of starting in the middle lane, these assholes will start in the left or right lane, only to find out they SHOULD be in the lane across the tunnel, and make a mad dash across the traffic to the MIDDLE lane, and wait for some nice guy to let them in...I have seen cops get really pissed off at all these assholes, and turn their sirens on just to make them move along. The deal is this...they CAN go to the end of the tunnel and take another way back around to 395, which is the highway to Maryland (left lane) and Virginia (right lane) if they're so stupid to be in the middle or wrong lane in the first place!

I know...get a grip! Chill...take a different route home. WHAT? and not enjoy all this frustration? you gotta be kidding!

guitar hero....

2008-02-16T15:42:00.005-05:00

Okay, so at the bottom of my blog, which isn't very long yet...you are now able to view Rush' YYZ played on guitar hero by this guy who must be extremely dextrous. (i couldn't figure out how to get rid of the other three youtube things, and sometimes other youtube things show up so just ignore them. playing yyz is the guy in the red shirt and he'll eventually return.)

Over the holidays some of us in the family got hooked on guitar hero (some more than others)and now everytime i visit my daughter i HAVE TO play guitar hero! it's crazy, i know...and i never really even liked hard rock! now i have my radio tuned to DC 101 on my way home from work just so i can listen to rock songs. the crazy thing is, i play the steering wheel...you'll only understand this if you have seen or played guitar hero. i feel like an old head banger! (hmmm, that's probably what i am, eh?)

Peopleist: one who believes there are crappy people among all races

2008-01-29T07:59:00.000-05:00

I'm totally not a racist...but I am a peoplelist! I don't think I was a peopleist until moving to DC. This has nothing to do with race. It does, however, have to do with people, meaning that I don't care what ethnicity someone is, there is a huge difference in people. Maybe it's their personal history, maybe it's simply geography.

Okay, I'm sorry, but here's where that opinion originated...working and dealing with people in DC for the past 13 years, particularly women. What's with the idea that the government should compensate them for their biological histories. It's been 200 years or more! Some families have been on the government take for generations. My theory is, if you don't like how America has treated 'you' for the last 2 days, 2 months, 2 years or yes, 200 years, go home! My son-in-law is black. I'm sure he has basically the same history any black person has. He's a graduate of Stanford, has a fabulous job, a great attitude, and doesn't think anyone owes him anything. He couldn't live in DC even though he tried. It's a different culture than he cares to live in.

I was all for Obama winnng the Presidential election. When I saw him speak at the Democratic convention in '04, I thought, what a guy! He's dynamic, brilliant, and has the style and charisma of Clinton or a Kennedy. I really believed he just might be able to lead the country back to some kind civility.

Then i saw him on CNN after he won the primary in South Carolina. Reality hit....standing next to him was his African American wife. Oh, my god! What was I thinking!? Obama in the whitehouse is one thing, but having a black woman in the whitehouse? Then i heard her speak. She is also brilliant. She said she hopes African Americans do not vote for her husband 'just because he's black'. uh, okay....that may not be the case across America, but here in DC? OH YEAH....they will vote for him because he is black! And if he does indeed win even the nomination? oh, my god! Does anyone remember DC when OJ was found 'not guilty'?? From SE up through PG County there will be celebrating...and not because Obama is a brilliant man, but because his skin is dark. Rather than going with the idea that this man is like any other man who takes the initiative to make something of his life, some folks look at him as a 'saviour' for others in their race. What...he's going to make their lives better because he's their color? Do they think 'ahhh, at last we'll get reparation for our history of slavery'? Okay, slavery was an awful thing. Children were ripped from their mothers and sold. Families were destroyed. It was truly horrible what happened. The truth of the matter is, however, that some of the slaves were brought here by black men. Maybe some of the folks here in DC are related to those merchants who sold people to Americans.

Working with people everyday, some paid very high salaries doing the same job I do but showing up for work late, taking long lunches, and complaining all the time simply drives me to be a peopleist. And in this beautiful city of Washington, where example should be made of us because we are the Nation's Capital, fraud, deceit, and manipulation runs rampant. Maybe it does in all big cities, but here, it's generally those who believe they are owed something. Maybe there isn't a difference in feeling like you're owed something, and just plain greed.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe, 'truth be known', I am a racist pig.

Happy/Sad

2008-01-26T12:28:00.000-05:00

October, 2007. Celebrating my Dad's 89th birthday, and memorializing the death of my sister. I had 3 siblings. Two brothers, Terry, 9 years my senior, and Bergy (Carl Jr.) two years my junior. A sister, Diane, 7 years my senior. My sister and I were never what you could call 'close'. We were in fact, worlds apart. As kids, she accused me of being a spoiled brat, I accused her of being a slut. Based on what we knew at the time, I guess we were both right. I thought she was slut because when I was 8 and she 15 I would catch her kissing boys in our avocado grove. Of course I would always rat on her, she would get in trouble, and she would call me a spoiled brat. Makes sense now. Even over the years we never became the friends most sisters do. We always seemed worlds apart. I guess I loved her because she was my sister....but like the old saying goes...'you can pick your friends'...something about relatives goes in that next part....

My sister woke up one morning in early 2004 unable to speak clearly. Everyone immediately thought she'd had a stroke. It was later determined she had Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis or ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. A rapidly progressive, invariably fatal neurological disease that attacks the nerve cells (neurons) responsible for controlling voluntary muscles. A horrible, debilitating disease with no known cure nor real understanding of where it comes from. Her descent was gradual for many months. She was able to swallow soft foods, but unable to talk. Eventually, she had to have a feeding tube. The last time I saw her, 6 months before her death, she could walk normally, smile and write down what she was thinking on the little pad and pen she carried. I had planned to visit her in October while in California to celebrate Pop's birthday. The week before I was to travel out there she succumbed to this horrific disease. Family members stayed in her home so she didn't have to die in a hospice. I made the trip to California as scheduled. My daughters and son joined me there for the memorial service and to celebrate Pop's 89th birthday. It was a sad and joyous time. I'm so grateful my Pop is still alive and well....golfing and swimming.

The dating scene...

2008-01-19T15:24:00.000-05:00

I know....I'm over the hill when it comes to dating but I can still imagine there might be that perfect someone out there. 10 years ago I tried the AOL Singles site. It was pretty straightforward. Many new sites have appeared since then, some of them AOL-related. eHarmony is probably the one you would think would hold the most weight when it comes to 'screening people'. After filling out pages of who I am and what I'm looking for (yeah, that helped) I decided to try one of my 'perfect matches'. Young women out there, realize that when you're over the age of 50-something and trying to find Mr. Right (again), Mr. Right suddenly seems mighty old and may appear to have been ridden hard and put away wet (this is a horse-person saying by the way) and if he doesn't appear that way, he's likely dating someone in her 30s. So what does that leave me, but choices of the following: married and looking for a fling; looking for 'young things'; retired and too tired to enjoy life. Not a great group of choices. So back to the one I tried....he was better looking than his picture, which is really unusual; was extremely charismatic; acted like he was really into me. We had sushi, a great dinner, lots of wine....and well, you know the rest. Though I thought it odd that he had to leave quickly at 10 p.m., I fully expected a phone call the following day asking me to go for a drive, get lunch, have dinner at his place....SOMETHING!! I emailed him a few days later saying something like 'so...what's up?' to which he didn't reply. That was it. I gave up. I'm not about to chase anyone. He was either an extremely good actor, gay, or married. At first I was devastated to think someone would play with anyone's feelings like that, but then reality raised its ugly head and I was over it. His profile is still online. He's still out there.

I have come to the conclusion that there is really no reason to upset my life by engaging in a relationship. I have a dog. I have all the things that make me love life. Why ruin that by sharing it with someone with different ideals. Truly, no matter how compatible 2 people are, there are always things that cause turmoil. I have absolutely no turmoil in my life.

Snow day.....

2008-01-17T19:34:00.000-05:00

DC doesn't get much snow, and the way people drive when it snows in DC makes you realize they must all be from a much warmer part of this country, or perhaps from some warmer country, period. Now, granted, I'm from a much warmer part of this country where snow only falls in the mountains 50 miles away, but for some unknown reason I don't seem to have a problem. Driving in snow is a simple process. First and foremost you have to watch the a-holes around you who think they can still drive 40 in a 25 mile zone and/or 70 on the beltway. I drive in the city every day and get really irritated at slow drivers, phone talkers, lipstick or mascara putting-on women, and food eaters, but in the snow? Not so much. I stay way back from the guy in front of me, and watch anyone behind or to the sides of me because I know what they're thinking....'I can go a little faster, this road isn't slick....woops!' and they're off the road. I don't want to be in the way when that brilliant thought goes through their tiny little brains. Ice is an entirely different issue. On Christmas Eve-Eve 1999 it took me 4 1/2 hours to drive from Reston to Rockville. The weatherman, in all his brilliance, had predicted freezing rain beginning at 8 p.m. I left work at 4, the freezing rain began at 4:15. The 4 1/2 hour trip taught me a couple of things: 1) VDOT should install porta pottys along 495 and 2) always go to the bathroom before leaving anywhere to get anywhere if there is the slightest possibility you won't get to where it is you're going within the next 4 1/2 hours.

what was I thinking?

2008-01-16T20:23:00.000-05:00

The journey began nearly 13 years ago. I left California with all my worldly belongings packed into a Ryder truck, and my then 19 year old daughter. I left behind the remnants of a 21 year marriage, my son, my siblings, and my Dad. Not to mention a few very good friends. After a week of being chased by one snow storm and following another, snacking on Fritos and bean dip, eating dinner at truck stops, and 3 Ryder trucks later, we arrived in Georgetown at 7 on a Friday night. My other daughter had recently been recruited from a San Francisco company and was living in DC at the Kennedy Warren. She had invited us to join her on her new journey. It was a brave new beginning for the three of us.

13 years later, I'm still wondering what I was thinking, but glad I did it. My life could not be fuller. And DC is a beautiful city.